Dear My Deeply Depressed Friends

Dawn Bevier

If you’re down and out like me during these difficult times, I found a few things that might help

Image by Saurabh Soshte on Pixabay

Dear My Deeply Depressed Friends:

My days have become as blurred as my forty-seven-year-old eyes. One minute bleeds into one hour and before you know it, the day is gone. What have I done? Truly, almost nothing. And I’ve got to stop doing nothing because it’s making me fall apart.

I’m one of those people who has usually checked off half of her to-do list by 7 am, but now everything feels pointless. I feel numb. Hollow. And I know the reason. It’s my old friend Depression knocking on my door. And with the usual Southern hospitality that is so characteristic of my North Carolina home, I’m letting him in.

And if you find him ringing your doorbell (he likes to get around), you’ve got to take charge of the situation. Even if the blankets are calling your name. Even if it can wait till tomorrow. Because while you are lying in your bed, consciously or unconsciously ruminating on these uncertain times, Depression is not only in your living room planning on an extended stay, he is lifting weights that would make the Rock look like a ten-year-old girl scout.

So right now, we have to ban together, do something to kindly make this unwanted visitor get off our couches and walk the hell out. So I made a list because “back in the day” (a month ago) when I was a confident energetic woman, I used lists to help me become more productive. (By the way, if you see this woman I mentioned above, send me an email. There is a reward attached.)

So let’s do this thing together. Let’s try my list. Make an honest attempt to stop being zombies. We don’t have to do them all and maybe today we just do two. That’s okay. But we’ve all got to start somewhere.

The reason trying my list may work (People with depression never say anything will work because that’s a bit too hopeful and optimistic.)

It involves physics.

Remember Sir Isaac Newton? You probably heard of him somewhere between middle school and high school. And if you remember him, it’s probably for his laws of gravity. His first law provides a concrete reason to try my list. It states:

Every object will remain at rest or in uniform motion in a straight line unless compelled to change its state by the action of an external force.

We, my friends, are in this case the force at rest. And we have to change our state using external forces (things in the list)to get us headed in the right direction. Otherwise, we follow a “straight line” that leads us right back to our bed.

And the good news is that if we take action, we will likely stay in action. (I think that might be another of Newton’s rules, but I’m not sure.)

The list

Things we are going to do (Choose at least two because everyone has to do number one. No stress, just do what you can!)

  1. We are going to get out of bed. (We can take naps later if we want.)
  2. We are going to take a shower or bath (and two or three more if we need a pick me up).
  3. We’re going to groom ourselves. Comb our hair. Brush our teeth. Girls, maybe we put on our makeup (We can take it right back off if we want). Guys, you know the shaving/manscaping/cologne deal? This is you.
  4. We are going to do something physical. (We may walk our dog or learn a new dance from TikTok. We may do a Youtube workout.) We will do something that gets our hearts beating a little faster and reminds our body that it still works.
  5. We are going to do something we’ve been meaning to take care of around the house (clean out our closets, paint our bedroom walls, wash the sheets we’ve hardly moved from for four weeks straight).
  6. We are going to read or listen to something uplifting or inspirational (a podcast, a self-help book, a daily devotion).
  7. We are going to light a candle or play our favorite music.
  8. We are going to go outside. (There is a ten-minute minimum time limit to check this block.)

Things we might do after we have checked the required minimum blocks above (All of these are optional but they will help keep you in motion.)

Note: None of these things that could possibly be done in bed, should be. If you do them in bed, they don’t count and you can’t check them off the list).

  1. We might sit on the couch and snuggle our dogs.
  2. We might shop online and indulge in a little treat so that we can look forward to getting something in the mail. (Remember, wash your hands after opening.)
  3. We might check out a new series to binge or new movies to watch. (I think series are better because they last longer and give you more to look forward to.)

Things we won’t do

  1. Stay in bed. (Naps are allowed, but no “8-hour naps,” okay?)

2. Listen to the negative thoughts in our heads. (When they start, we will look back at the list and choose something else to do from it.)

3. Tell ourselves we can’t keep going (because we can and we will).

The bottom line:

I’m no Ph.D. but I did try something off my list before I actually wrote this article, and it worked.

All I did was get out of bed, put in my earbuds, and walk. But it was an amazing release, almost as if someone had performed an exorcism that forced the demon of Depression out of my body.

I know, I know. It’s a small simple thing I accomplished and maybe the endorphins will only last an hour or two. But that’s okay. Because that’s how we make it through hard times. One step. One chore. One song at a time.

So, pick your two “must do’s” from the required list. Remember, it won’t be that hard because one of them is to get out of bed. (Sorry, visits to the toilet don’t count.)

And please let me know if it works to get our “frenemy” Depression out your front door. Because another good way to lift a sagging spirit is to help fellow humans, and I would love to know that I’ve done this for you in some small way.

Best of luck. I know you can do it!

Your frequently depressed comrade in arms,


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My goal is to provide you with thoughtful, informative, and inspirational content that may increase your productivity, relationships, and well-being.

Sanford, NC

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