The Rewards of Befriending an Intensely Serious Person

Dawn Bevier

We can help you see the world in a new way — and hopefully, you can do the same for us

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I’m not really a person who you might want to spend a weekend with. Or even a whole day. Why? I have what you might call an intensely serious personality. And that can be off-putting.

The Instagram scrolls with vanity shots? I have no tolerance for them. The funny memes or The Office allusions? I wouldn’t know them because I don’t watch tv all that much, especially comedies. The YouTube videos where people film themselves eating lemons or acting foolish for worldwide attention? They turn me off. They bore me. I’ve got better things to do with my time.

Like brood. And read. And brood some more.

I’m in my head twenty-four hours a day. And it’s hell in there at times. The doors are locked tight and I’m surrounded by all sorts of people — Fear, Ambition, Desire, Regret, Disgust.

Yet ironically, this place holds a bittersweet place in my heart. I have to stay there. Because a part of me believes that the answers to all my dreams and questions are in there — somewhere — and I just have to be brave enough to hang around, find them, and make friends with them.

You see, I’m a learner, feeler, thinker, and achiever. And if you're not doing one of these things with me, you usually won’t get a second glance.

And perhaps this is why my family will need to hire mourners to attend my funeral, so I won’t be embarrassed looking down from the great beyond.

Don’t get me wrong. I do have friends, but they are few and far between. However, they are the best type of friends because they understand (and maybe even love) some of the things my personality type can bring to their lives.

So, how can getting to know that serious person in your own life benefit you?

We can help you think things through when you are struggling

No one has pondered all the sides of a situation as much as a serious person. Very few choices we face are trivial to us. After all, we are constantly looking at the bigger picture. If I eat this brownie, will it set off a chain reaction that will derail my whole diet? If I take this day off the job, is the time at home worth the mountain of work I will come back to the next day? If I don’t do a little of this work project today, will it mean the end result is sloppy and disorganized or that people think I'm irresponsible or lazy?

Because truly serious people spend most of our time questioning things, we can help you sort through all the possible options and concerns when you are struggling with difficult situations. Just beware: we'll bring it all to the table. Don’t expect to leave the conversation wearing rose-colored glasses. But do expect to be heard. And please appreciate us for listening and thinking so intently about your problems with you. It means we care.

We can introduce you to the beauty of the arts

Most serious people strive for perfection in their lives, and when we see that spark of genius and perfection in the creative arts, it mesmerizes us. We can feel a nocturne of Chopin’s in a way very few can. We can somehow inhabit the mind of the artist or jump into the landscapes that Monet brings to life on the canvas. We also love to explore all the beautiful and painful questions that arise from a poem or a thought provoking piece of literature.

It's one of our favorite things to share our thoughts and feelings of admiration for these creative masterpieces with a willing listener. We crave interaction with other deep thinkers who see the majesty of these things that are so often taken for granted. And if you tell us that you’re not a fan of these artistic creations, we would adore spending hours with you explaining why things like books, music, sculptures, and dance are some of life’s greatest gifts.

Maybe we can bring beauty and passion into your life that you didn’t know existed, show you the immense joy that can spring from a simple musical note, painted canvas, or written word.

We can motivate you to be your best

Achievement is a one of the serious person’s greatest passions.

We strive constantly to be better at the things that matter to us. And if you need a good kick in the pants to get to work on your dreams, come see us. We can encourage you. Give you steps to accomplish the goals you have set for yourself. Likely, we can provide numerous options to get to this place of success because we have researched them all for ourselves. Again, we will not make the journey to your best self look painless and simple, but we will remind you of the benefits that can be gained and the wonderful ways your life can transform if you will only work towards your dreams. We can do this because these inspirations are what keep us going through all the hard work and intense focus we place on our own life ambitions.

So listen to us when we tell you about visualization or small habit formation or behavioral therapy. We might just help you achieve things you never imagined.

The bottom line

Don’t look at the quiet soul sitting deep in thought in the corner and label him a “wet rag” or “Debbie-downer.” We serious people can’t help that we are stuck in our heads. It’s our living space, after all. And we may not know any other. Philosopher Mokokoma Mokhonoana speaks for all intensely serious people when he says that "our seriousness prevents us from enjoying the circus of life." So you show us your world. Take us to the "circus," the one with amusement, spontaneity and laughter, and we’ll show you ours. And maybe, at this magical joining of yin and yang, we may both finally be able to see the truth, that a beautiful life is one that combines both elements together in a wonderful symphony of harmony.

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My goal is to provide you with thoughtful, informative, and inspirational content that may increase your productivity, relationships, and well-being.

Sanford, NC

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