Should Love Hurt?

Daniella Cressman

Love is complicated, even during the best of times and, when I heard that Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox were getting married, I was honestly thrilled, at least at first.

Then I learned that the ring hurts to take off due to its thorns.

Now, I’m quite perplexed by the whole ordeal: There are a million questions running through my mind.

Is Megan Fox Okay with the Whole “Love Is Pain” Thing?

If this were any other couple, I would immediately say that the dude was an abusive, controlling bastard, but these two are totally controversial and kinky all the time, so I can’t help but wonder if Megan Fox is actually completely into the reality that her beautiful, custom-made ring will actually hurt her if she tries to take it off.

Does she like the potential discomfort and the fear?

Does she feel sexy knowing that MGK has that much control over her?

Maybe she finds the whole thing poetic and representative of real life: It hurts to break anything off emotionally, so perhaps she actually wants the possibility of physical pain to mirror that…

Honestly, I wouldn’t put it past her, and who am I to judge if her and her twin flame are totally enamored with love, lust, and consensual pain?

The blaring question inside my mind is this: Is Megan Fox okay with the ring?

Did she know about MGK’s “dirty little secret” before she said yes to his proposal or was she completely in the dark about it until the ring was on her finger?

It’s disturbing that — even though there are countless headlines scattered across the World Wide Web about the potential toxicity and supposedly abusive nature of the musician towards his fiance, there is very little information available about how Megan Fox feels about the ring.

In my eyes, her desires are the most important component of the argument: Why would people largely ignore the major part of this whole event?

The one morsel I found was that one article said the woman might actually like it, but of course they hadn’t actually asked her about it…

It seems that no one has, at least as far as I can tell.

Here’s the thing: If Megan Fox loves the ring and is really into the pain that comes with taking it off because she’s deeply enamored with their kinky, sometimes cheekily sadistic love affair, then that makes the whole ordeal a lot more acceptable: It’s akin to a couple doing things in bed that are unconventional — Arguably, there’s not really anything wrong with it if it’s consensual.

On the other hand, if she has been manipulated by the singer and wasn’t actually informed of the full risk of putting the ring on her finger before she said yes to his proposal, that is an entirely different story: Then it becomes a matter of trust, betrayal, mind games, control, unwelcome sadism, and intense manipulation.

It seems to me that the two of them really love each other, even though they can be a bit dark and weird sometimes in the way they show their affection, but everyone mourns in a different way, and people give their heart to another uniquely, so maybe they both think it’s kind of funny and on-brand and they’re okay with it: Perhaps Megan Fox is as intent on never taking the ring off as MGK is on her continuing to be committed to him.

Who knows?!

These two can be extremely unconventional with nearly everything: It seems that they enjoy a twisted version of love, but their connection seems quite deep nonetheless.

As always, the acceptability of the situation depends on the consent involved and the woman’s feelings about the whole ordeal.

The Larger Debate: Toxic Masculinity and Control Is Not Exactly Romantic

Wedding rings actually have quite a sordid history: They have unfortunately been a way for men to control women over the years and treat them as objects in the worst-case scenarios.

Admittedly, they can be romantic — if they are solely wielded as a display of deep love and commitment — but let’s face it: That has not always been the case.

It Has Always Hurt Women to Leave Their Marriage

Back in the day, women couldn’t leave their husbands because they had no money to their own name: Men had made it impossible for them to have any rights and any autonomy, so they were (basically) forced into a life of motherhood, or — at the very least — an ongoing existence as housewives, whether they liked it or not.

Obviously, these situations gave men all of the power, yet women consented to them because, well, not doing so meant they had very little power in life, no money, and no roof over their head.

They couldn’t work, so that also helped their husbands exert total control over women’s minds and bodies.

On the other hand, if a man left his wife, he would be okay: He’d still have his assets and be able to survive even if he was hurting emotionally.

Rings have been used as a tool of oppression in the past, whether we want to admit it or not — just like the original form of chivalry was part of a system that was inherently chauvinistic — so a man presenting a woman with a ring that hurts her when she removes it comes with a slew of historical connotations that could trigger so much resentment and anger for so many women, especially because the female gender has been subjected to an unjust system for so long: One that we are still fighting against today.

The notion that love is pain is actually — surprisingly?! — common, at least from a woman’s perspective.

Ironically, men tend to complain about losing their freedoms more than females do, but the opposite has always rung true.

Females have always had to sacrifice more than men to make a marriage work. Even today, it seems to be a trend for successful working women to give up on their careers in order to raise kids at home and be there for their husbands, or accept that his profession is always going to be seen as more important than theirs, no matter how much effort they have exerted to get to where they are professionally.

In that context, normalizing the phrase “love is pain” is deeply damaging to the female psyche at large: Women are already struggling to find their way in a system that is inherently sexist, raise their voices in meetings, and navigate the sexual harassment that is tragically commonplace in nearly every office across America while also trying to be present for their spouses and “engage in their nurturing nature” by raising children, performing household duties that seem to be expected of them by their husbands, and trying to be the perfect wife whenever they’re out and about, even though they may feel dismissed or underappreciated more often than not.

Is our notion of love already painful enough without a ring that contains thorns?

In my eyes, too many marriages are based on control instead of mutual adoration, which saddens me deeply — I wish that wasn’t the case.

Controlling Male Behavior Has Always Been Viewed as Attractive in America

How many possessive businessman have you seen clinging to their “trophy wives” who seem to have completely empty eyes due to the constant objectification?

While most men don’t directly give their wives rings with thorns (also known as spikes) embedded in them, many still emotionally abuse, use, and dismiss their spouses for the duration of their marriage, yet so many men and women alike still find controlling, possessive men to be extremely attractive.

Possessiveness is not love; it’s control.

The Takeaway: If anything, MGK and Megan Kelly started the conversation surrounding love versus control.

If Megan Fox is okay with it, that drastically changes the dynamic because (although it’s twisted) it’s certainly consensual.

If she’s not, then yeah, this is a toxic, controlling, and manipulative move on MGK’s part, but the couple has always veered on the dark side of romance more than most.

The bigger issue is that our society views control as love far too often, even though the two are on opposite ends of the emotional spectrum in a healthy relationship.

What are your thoughts? Did MGK take it too far, or do you think the couple is just being bizarre, kinky, and controversial as usual?

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Canadian-American author writing about local politics, personal finance, & dining in Albuquerque.

Albuquerque, NM

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