Supporting Your Mate to Grow a Devoted Loving Partnership

Cynthia Greene, MHR, Marriage & Relationship Visionary Strategist
Reach out and help each otherEverton Vila

Have you ever done something for someone, and they barely said thank you? Or, have you ever done a lot of something for someone, and they just never seemed to appreciate it? Wouldn't you love for them to return the favor?

Often, our spouse does little things for us in and around the house, and we take it for granted. We just think of it as what is expected or an obligation.

I want to challenge you to look at things a little differently. If our spouse never did anything for us and only thought about themselves, we would be complaining big time. So, let's rethink this. Let's start reciprocating and responding more to what we see and know that our spouse does or has done.

Let's give tit for tat in a way that shows we care. Here are some examples:

  • She cooked a new dish. You go into the kitchen and put everything away.
  • He washed and dried the laundry. You start folding them as they come out of the dryer.
  • She got the kids up, dressed, fed them, and got them off to school. You pick them up and give them a snack.
  • He filled the car's gas tank. You take all the mats out and throw them in the washer.
  • She planned a great date night out. You plan a great night out the next time.
  • She's wearing a fresh, cute hairstyle. You tell her how lovely her hair looks, smells, or shapes her face nicely.
  • He puts on cologne. You tell him how sexy he smells.

When you compliment your spouse or do a small deed for them, it creates special emotions and connections. It can cause them to smile, feel appreciated, feel noticed, feel warm and fuzzy inside, or feel more loved. It can move them into action. It can cause a shift in their attitude.

They may start complimenting you more or preparing more special meals or date nights. They will begin to notice everything you do to make a great home life and marriage. It could generate more positive conversations and help you grow closer. It could even lead to better intimacy.

Don't sweat the small stuff. Don't focus on the imperfections. Those things can change and disappear over time. Some things will always be a part of their DNA, but it won't stick you like a thorn.

Your goal is to reinforce the positives. Show your spouse some extra attention this month during National Appreciation Month and let them see, feel, and hear how much you appreciate the little things that they do. Tit for tat can be a good thing. Do the little things. Pile the praise on. Let's get to work doing 'tit for tat'!

Here's to Building Your Marriage,

Cynthia Greene

Remember: “If you build it, it will last”.

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Cynthia Greene is a Certified Professional Life Coach, Prolific Speaker, Best Seller Author & has a Masters in Human Relations. She has been helping others with creating strategies to build successful marriages and relationships for over 20 years.

Waldorf, MD

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