OPINION: 19 Signs He Genuinely Loves You According to a Former Therapist

Crystal Jackson

Photo byOmar Lopez on Unsplash

Dating lingo is so prevalent that we don’t even have to explain what is meant by red flags, green flags, ghosting, or any other terminology. The words paint a picture that describe experiences we’ve had. Yet, love is one of those experiences that can nearly defy explanation. You might not understand why you love one person and yet are unable to make yourself love another. It might seem like a mystery why the heart wants what it wants and what you’re supposed to do if what your heart wants is vetoed by your brain and gut.

For now, let’s just explore the signs that someone genuinely loves you. Knowing how you feel matters, and you will want to investigate that. But do you know how to recognize when someone else genuinely loves you?

19 Signs He Genuinely Loves You

Love is not always romantic. It’s often familial or platonic. For the purposes of the article in question, let’s focus solely on romantic love and how it might show up in your interactions. Here are 19 signs he really does love you.

1. He Lights Up When You Walk into the Room

Watch his face when he sees you enter a room. Seriously, look closer. Does he light up? Does he smile go all the way up to his eyes? Does he look genuinely delighted just because you’re there? He’s got it bad! This is a clear sign that the man is in love with you. If he looks at you like you’re a whole box of puppies, he’s not really hiding his feelings.

You can probably tell when someone is faking it. Smiles, I mean. You can likely tell when someone is trying to look happy to see you but would really rather be somewhere else. The man in love lights up. The man who’s not in love might look vaguely interested before returning to his phone.

2. Just Spending Time with You Makes His Day Better

Another adorable sign that the man is in love with you is that spending time with you just makes his day better. Has he mentioned that before? Or can you tell when his bad day just got a whole lot better after you two hung out?

If you can take his worst days and make them better, it’s very likely that he genuinely loves you. Not just anyone could turn that frown right-side up. But you’ve got what it takes because of how he feels about you.

3. He Thinks Your Quirks are Cute

If he sincerely, ardently loves you, he’s going to think that even your annoying quirks are cute. He might tease you for snoring or laugh at just how badly you sing while making heart eyes in your direction. He’s not annoyed. If anything, he’s amused.

Oh, the honeymoon phase! Someone who is head over heels in love is going to be using those rose-colored glasses to peer out at the relationship. Your sweaty socks lying on the floor instead of the laundry basket might earn a shake of the head, but it won’t likely start an argument. If your quirks are still cute, he just might be in love with you.

4. He Sees Your Flaws and Still Loves You

A man who really loves you — and I mean one who really loves the real YOU — will see your flaws and still love you. This guy doesn’t think you’re perfect. He knows you’re not. It doesn’t change how he feels.

Some partners might try to nudge you into being who they want or make you feel less for being who you are. A man who is in love can recognize and accept flaws. It isn’t going to make him love you less. After all, he’s well-aware that he isn’t perfect either. He really gets you, and the fact that you’re a hot mess sometimes will not have him trying to make a break for it.

5. He Surprises You with Thoughtful Gestures

You might notice that the man in love will sometimes surprise you with thoughtful gestures. They show he’s really paying attention. He might bring you your favorite latte, grab your favorite movie theater snacks, or even wait for you to get home to binge watch the new episode of the show you’re both obsessed with watching. He’s constantly considering you — almost as though you’ve been on his mind (because you have).

6. He Tries to Make You Happy

For whatever else a man in love will do, he’ll try to make you happy. He wants to see you smile and make you laugh. If you’re sad, he’ll look for a way to comfort you or cheer you up. If you’re not happy, it genuinely impacts how he feels.

While a mature partner will realize that he cannot be the sole source of your happiness, he still wants you to experience joy. He’ll do his best to bring that to your life, and while he’ll allow you the space to feel other emotions, don’t be surprised when his favorite thing is your happiness.

7. He Introduces You to His Favorite People

A man who is seeing you casually likely won’t introduce you to his family and friends. Why would he if he doesn’t see it going anywhere? But a man in love will want to bring you around his favorite people. He wants to make sure they like you, you like them, and everyone can hang out. He’s hopeful that his favorite friends and family members will see what he sees in you, and he hopes you like them as much as he does.

This might feel like a test. It is, in a way. This is an important part of dating. If his friends suck, you probably need to realize that he does, too, and you’re just not seeing it. If his family is awful, you might want to consider if you want to sign up for more time with them. But overall, his favorite people show another side to him, and if you get to meet them, appreciate that for the gesture of love and trust that it is. He hasn’t brought everyone around — just the ones who’ve meant the most.

8. He Tells You That You Are His Best Friend

The man in love will see you as his very best friend. You’re the person he relies on and most enjoys being around. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t have other close friends. It just means that he’s been able to see you as more than just a lover. The relationship is deeper and more intimate than that.

Some partners might never fully arrive at bestie status. There’s a lack of underlying trust and shared vulnerability. This is one reason why it can be so hard to stay friends with an ex; some of them were never friends in the first place. But a relationship built on a solid bedrock of friendship has the potential to last even if friendship isn’t where you started.

9. He Includes You in His Plans

When he genuinely loves you, he includes you in the plans he’s making because when he pictures the future — whether that’s tomorrow or a year from now — you’re in it. He’ll talk about those future plans, and you’ll never have to guess if he’s in it for the long haul.

10. He Asks for Your Advice

A man who truly loves you will want your advice because he values your opinion. He cares about what you think, and he’s interested in the insights you may have to offer. While he’s perfectly capable of making decisions himself, he loves to talk things over with you because he trusts your judgment.

11. He is Protective of You

You might have noticed that a man in love is protective of you. This is the guy who wants you to text that you got home safe, the one who walks you to the door, and the one who immediately is Team You in any conflict. He doesn’t let other people speak negatively about you — especially when you’re not there to defend yourself. He cares about your well-being, and it’s obvious in everything he says and does.

12. He’s Your Biggest Cheerleader

A man who genuinely loves you is going to be your biggest cheerleader. He will loudly and proudly hype you up. He thinks you’re the greatest, and he’s going to be supportive of anything you set out to do. Even if you’re singing bad karaoke, this man will be cheering the loudest.

13. He’s Willing to Work on the Relationship

A monumental sign that a man is sincerely in love with you is when he’s willing to work on the relationship. Conflict is often where relationships break down, but when he loves you, he’s going to do whatever is needed to repair the relationship. Counseling? He’s in. Self-help books? He’ll buy them. Compromise? He’ll find one.

He doesn’t walk away when it gets hard. He’s looking for solutions, not an excuse or someone to blame. Because he values the connection with you, he’s invested in the relationship and will make an effort to preserve it. It won’t just be a surface effort, so he can say he tried. He will genuinely move heaven and earth if it’s possible. He’ll only give up if he discovers he can’t be who and what you need, but he’s going to do all he can before that happens.

14. He Doesn’t Want to Disappoint You

A man who really loves you is going to do anything and everything to avoid disappointing you. That’s one of the most challenging parts of any relationship. We let each other down. We just do. It’s a natural part of relationships. But a man who truly loves you will hate to disappoint you and will do his very best not to let that happen.

15. He’s Consistent with Contact

It’s not a surprise that the man who genuinely loves you is also consistent with contact. He actually wants to connect with you, so he’ll be available to talk or text. He’s going to prioritize that time even if life is hectic. Your messages won’t just sit around in his inbox or languish in his DMs. He’s going to reach out even if it’s to let you know that it’s a bad time and he needs to connect with you later.

16. He Offers Relationship Reassurance Without Needing to Be Asked

You don’t have to wonder if the man who deeply loves you is still committed. He’s going to offer relationship reassurance without you needing to ask. This reassurance is essential for people who have an anxious attachment style in relationships or who have experienced past relational trauma.

You’ll know he loves you because you won’t have to beg for that security and stability in the relationship. He wants you to know that you are loved and valued every single day. He’s not going to leave you guessing if his feelings have changed.

17. He Misses You When You’re Not Around

Someone who doesn’t ever miss you when you’re not around just doesn’t love you. It’s a fact. The reverse holds true. If he really loves you, he’s going to feel your absence keenly. He’ll miss you — and he’ll tell you that.

18. He Makes Time for You

You are not going to become another obligation for a man who loves you. He doesn’t see you as one more thing to check off the task list in a given day. He sees you as a valuable part of his life, a person he wants to connect with no matter what else is going on. He makes time for you because he loves you and because he wants to, and you don’t have to worry that he’s doing it only because you expect it.

Making time for you includes making quality time to connect — both emotionally and physically. He will prioritize your time together and make plans for spending more time with you. You won’t feel like an item squeezed into his agenda. He’ll let you know that there’s always time for you.

19. You’re His Go-To Call When Something Happens in His Life

When something good happens. When life goes wrong. No matter what’s up, the man in love wants to tell you about it. You’re his first call when anything of significance happens. You’re the first person he wants to talk it out with, and you might even be his emergency contact when he can’t be the one to reach out.

In Conclusion: The Man in Love

If I’m honest, it’s easier for me to recognize the signs when someone doesn’t love me. I’ve had the most experience with it. During the pandemic, I wrote a poem about how I could tell when a relationship wasn’t going to work out.

I won’t bore you with the details other than the fact that it felt like the world was in utter chaos, and I began to see that a man in love might react differently than what I was seeing. He didn’t miss me even though we were separated for months. He couldn’t offer reassurance about the relationship or make time for me even once vaccinations were available and restrictions were lifted. He didn’t want to work on what was wrong in the relationship, and I’m not sure if I was ever truly included in his future plans.

All the signs that he didn’t love me were glaringly obvious. I could feel it every single day in what he didn’t say. But just as easy as it is to recognize when someone doesn’t love you, it’s possible to recognize the many ways that show they do.

A man in love might try to hide it, but the signs are all there. His feelings are in his eyes as they track where you are at any given time. Even across a crowded room, you sense his awareness of you. When you’re not around, you’re in his thoughts. His caring isn’t limited to convenience. He’s in love with you.

If he genuinely loves you, decide if you feel the same way. If you don’t, I can assure you that you are doing the man no favors if you stay with him knowing that you don’t return his feelings or see a future with him. But if you do love him the way that he loves you, don’t waste another moment without telling him. Love is precious. I hope you embrace it.

Originally published on The Truly Charming

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Crystal Jackson is a former therapist turned writer. She is the author of the Heart of Madison series and a volume of poetry entitled My Words Are Whiskey. Her work has been featured on Medium, Elite Daily, Thought Catalog, The Good Men Project, and Elephant Journal. When she's not writing, you can find her traveling, paddle boarding, cycling, throwing axes badly but with terrifying enthusiasm, hiking, or curled up with her nose in a book in Madison, Georgia, where she lives with one puppy and two wild and wonderful children. Crystal writes about relationships, mental health, parenting, social justice, and more. Never miss an update. Subscribe to emails: https://crystaljacksonwriter.substack.com/

Madison, GA

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