Space is a healthy part of anyone’s existence. It should be a healthy part of relationships, too. Without enough space, people begin to feel smothered or pressured. With too much space, people begin to feel neglected and abandoned. So, where’s the balance, and how are you supposed to tell when a woman needs space?
10 Signs a Woman Needs Space
If you’re asking the question, you might already know. Still, there are signs if you need further confirmation. Here are 10 signs you might see when your partner needs space.
She’s Distant and Distracted
She’s distant. Distracted. You’ve noticed a change, and it might even have you worried. Is she pulling away? Does she want to break up with you? Is there someone else?
Stop. Before you overthink it, being distant and distracted could represent a couple of different things. If the intimacy in your relationship has been suffering lately, she might feel a need for a true connection from you. But, and this is important, if nothing has changed but she’s still distant and distracted, it’s possible that she needs space. It might have nothing at all to do with you or with the relationship and everything to do with needing a breather and time to soak in some solitude.
She Delays Responding to Texts
Someone who used to immediately respond to text may begin delaying responses when space is needed. Be honest with yourself: Are you texting too often, checking in too much, or overwhelming her with contact? It’s possible a delay is a reminder that she has a busy life, and you’re crowding her. Give her space to breathe.
She could be busy at work or caught up in a conversation with a friend. There are a million reasons why she’s slower to respond to your text, so instead of double or triple texting, take a step back and allow her to respond when she’s ready. Take off the pressure and attend to your own life for a little while.
She Seems More Sensitive Than Usual
Does she seem more reactive to you lately, like everything is getting on her nerves or under her skin? An excess amount of sensitivity could be a clue that she needs more space than she’s getting. The pressure she feels might be coming from work or home and not the relationship, but the need for space might exist all the same.
Try not to take it personally. One possible reason is that she’s reevaluating the relationship, but it’s also possible that she’s going through something personal that has nothing to do with you.
Life can be incredibly overwhelming at times. Does she seem like she has too much on her plate? Does she talk about everything being too much? These could be signs that she needs a little more space.
If every aspect of her life is crowded, the relationship doesn’t need to be another place that exerts pressure on her. It needs to be a safe space where she can relax, let down her guard, and get a breather. But sometimes, she’ll still need alone time to decompress.
Arguing about anything and everything can be a sign that the woman in your life requires space. I’m not talking about the silent treatment or cold shoulder as a way of punishing her. Instead, I’m talking about putting a little healthy space into the relationship to give her a chance to fall apart or pull it together, whatever it is she needs.
Don’t rise to the bait. She might want to argue, but you don’t have to join in. You can offer a little space when she’s feeling temperamental.
She Devotes More Time to Hobbies
A woman who is suddenly devoting more time to her hobbies may be on a journey of self-discovery, or it’s possible that she’s just found something in her life that adds to her calm and not her chaos. This is a clue that you need to give her some space to do the things she loves.
As long as the hobbies are healthy and not self-destructive, it’s a good thing that she’s found something that adds value to her life. She’s not choosing this hobby over you, but it is meaningful to her. You just might have to make some room.
She Shows Closed-Off Body Language
Pay attention to her body language when you’re looking for signs that a woman needs space. It’s there. The crossed arms. Her legs angled away. The way she curls up as far from you as possible in bed or holds herself in a protective way.
Sometimes, this body language is a hint that she needs more space than she’s getting. If you’re noticing that her body language isn’t open anymore, she could be depressed, anxious, or completely stressed out. A healthy space could be just what she needs.
She Keeps Conversations Brief
Hours of conversation in the beginning have dwindled to the briefest of responses. She just doesn’t have the energy or effort to spare for more. Before you take it personally, look at this as a sign that a woman needs space.
While it’s possible that she’s quietly quitting the relationship, it’s just as possible that she’s stressed and needs more time to herself. Does she get healthy space in the relationship? Don’t assume that it isn’t needed just because she hasn’t insisted on it. If you notice the signs, make the time and space for her.
She’s Expressed a Need for More Alone Time
If she’s come right out and said she needs more time alone, that’s a pretty undeniable clue. She’s told you what she needs. Are you disregarding it?
A direct expression of a need for time alone is a clear indicator that the relationship doesn’t have enough space right now. She needs it. It doesn’t matter if you don’t feel the need for more space from her. She needs to be alone, and you need to respect that. Full stop.
She Stops Asserting Her Own Opinion
A subtle sign that the woman in your life needs space is when she stops asserting her own opinion. She just goes along with whatever you want to do. She doesn’t have a suggestion for what to eat for dinner or what to stream in your downtime. She seems to be “fine” with whatever, even if she doesn’t seem fine at all.
She could be losing herself in the relationship or just in life. This is a hint that she might need a little space to give her a chance to decide what she wants and who she is now. She may have gotten so wrapped up in the relationship that she let other things slide and is now feeling the consequences of that. Give her room.
Making More Time for the Relationship Seems to Stress Her Out
You say you need to see her more, and she’s not excited about it. In fact, more time seeing you or talking to you is just stressing her out. At peak overwhelm, the relationship seems to be one more thing in the To-Do column of her life.
Take notes: She needs space right now. This isn’t an invitation for you to do a full-court press. It’s an opportunity for you to make some breathing room for her. Be the supportive friend or partner who cheers her on from a distance while making space for her to be alone to decompress.
What You Should Do
If you notice that she needs space, there are things that you can do.
Create Healthy Space in the Relationship
How healthy is your relationship? Does it have a balance of space and togetherness, or is it all togetherness all the time? Creating a healthy space in the relationship gives the two of you room to grow closer, not grow apart. Smothering her with your affection doesn’t allow room for growth, and it can be toxic to the relationship.
Clarify What Space Means to Her
If she says she wants space, clarify what that means for her. Does that mean she needs more alone time but wants to stay in the relationship with you? Does she want a break from the relationship, which usually means a breakup? Get clarity on what space means to her and what she truly wants.
Each of these signs could also mean that she wants out of the relationship. You’ll never know if you don’t ask. But before you assume the worst, try giving her a little space and asking if she feels like there’s enough space in your relationship. She might just want to have a night free each week to catch up on her reading or binge-watch that show you don’t like. She might need a night to go to bed early and sleep like a starfish across the entire bed. Don’t assume. Just figure out what it is that will help her feel less overwhelmed.
Don’t Take It Personally
You might want to take all these signs personally, but how people act usually has more to do with what’s going on with them than anything about you. Choose not to take it personally. Put yourself in her shoes and think about how she might be feeling. Before you get defensive or freak out that the relationship might be ending, consider that she just needs a little time to be herself.
Even if you don’t personally have a need for space, you can find something to do with your free time that doesn’t include interrupting hers. It could be an ideal time for you to form a hobby of your own or make time for friends you might have neglected when you embarked on this relationship. Allow the space to be a healthy part of the relationship and not something you actively resent because it wasn’t your idea.
We all need space from time to time. The demands of life aren’t going to shift so that we have more hours in our day, but our relationships can certainly make room. Sometimes, the thing we need the most is alone time to recharge and find our balance.
If you notice the woman in your life signaling for space, don’t make it about you. Don’t decide it says something about your relationship. Be the supportive partner you would want in the same situation and make space. If the relationship is right, it’s not going anywhere because you allowed some breathing room. In fact, it just might flourish because you understood.
Originally published on The Truly Charming
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