How to Recognize the Subtle Signs She’s into You

Crystal Jackson
Photo Official on Unsplash

You might think women are mysterious, but science disagrees. In fact, there are many signs that a woman is showing interest and attraction that you just might not be recognizing. There are two good reasons for this: (a) She’s not interested, so she’s not showing any signs, or (b) she’s giving every possible sign, but you just aren’t interpreting them to mean that she’s into you.

If you want to know if a girl or woman in your life likes you, researchers have found that body language speaks volumes. Asking directly can give you the answer you need, but if you want to make sure she’s interested first, here are the signs you need to look for.

10 Body Language Signs a Girl Likes You

Eye Contact

A woman who is interested in you romantically will demonstrate many nonverbal indicators of interest according to a study in Ethology and Sociobiology, including eye contact. A woman who gazes into your eyes and doesn’t avoid your eye contact is likely communicating interest whether or not she realizes it.

Of course, differences exist between neurotypical individuals and neurodivergent ones, but gazing is typically viewed as a sign of interest in neurotypical individuals. If a woman is looking away from you and avoiding eye contact, it’s usually a hint that she’s just not that into you.

Frequent Touch

Another indicator of interest involves frequent touching. Does she put a hand on your arm when speaking to you or sit close enough to make contact? Frequent touches aren’t coincidental. Touching you is another sign that she’s into you that you may ignore if you’re not paying attention.

A woman who is not interested in you will usually make some space between you. Women usually know when a man is interested and might be finding ways to nonverbally reject him gently. Avoiding touch might not be something you notice, but it’s absolutely something she might do to make sure she’s not leading him on.

Fluttering Lashes

You might not get an obvious wink from the woman you like, but there’s every chance you’ll see fluttering eyelashes in your crush if she’s interested. Experts believe that those fluttering lashes and even an outright wink communicate attraction and romantic interest.

It’s also possible you’ll get an equivalent reaction by text. The wink emoji or kissy face emoji are two popular emojis used for flirting and communicating interest. You might not be able to spy the fluttering of her lashes, but she just might send a text equivalent.


Mirroring is a technique where the person you’re speaking to reflects back your body language. If you like her and are leaning in, you’ll likely notice that she leans in, too, if she’s interested. Watch to see if her body position changes with yours. If she’s mirroring your movements, she could be communicating interest in what you’re saying … or romantic interest in you.

Leaning away, crossing her arms over her chest, or avoiding your eyes could all be signs that she’s not into you. Just as it’s important to pay attention to the signs that she likes you, it’s even more important to know when she doesn’t so you can respect her boundaries.

Giving Compliments

There are many other verbal and nonverbal cues that researchers have found to reveal romantic attraction. Giving compliments is one of them. You’ll know a girl likes you when she offers genuine, unsolicited compliments.

It’s possible that she’s just being polite or being a good friend, so pay attention to the nature of the compliment and see if it’s accompanied by ay of these other signs. Keep in mind: none of these signs is a guarantee your interest is returned, but these are good indicators that it’s possible she likes you back.

Quick Glances

Does she glance at you quickly and look away? Does she watch you when she thinks you’re not looking? These quick glances might be hints that she’s interested and trying to figure out if you might feel the same.

While it’s possible you’ve smeared mustard on your face and she doesn’t know how to tell you, chances are that these quick glances are indicators of interest and a chance for you to meet her eyes and show your own.

Laughing More

A woman who laughs with you often just might be interested in you. You might not be as funny as her laughter would indicate. She could just find your presence and manner charming because she’s into you. Her bright laughter could be brought easily to the surface because she’s happy to be around you.

It’s possible you are hilarious, and she’s your friend. Of course, she’ll laugh more. Here’s a good rule of thumb: If she’s verbally told you she’s not interested, don’t try to read her body language for a different answer. Listen to her “no” and respect it.

Nodding Frequently

Another nonverbal sign that a girl likes you is when she nods her head frequently at what you have to say. She might be a great active listener, but it’s also possible that her frequent nods are giving away that yes, she’s interested.

It’s a subtle sign, and you might not even notice she’s doing it. Watch during your next conversation and see if you notice this detail revealing her true feelings.

Leaning Toward You

In mirroring, she’s reflecting your body language, but it’s also possible for her to be the one to initiate this movement. Does she lean into you when you’re talking? Does her body pivot toward yours or away? It’s doubtful that she has such poor balance that she leans on everyone. It’s likely that she’s just attracted and can’t help but draw a little closer to your light.

She’ll likely lean away if she’s not interested, and you encroach upon her space. Note how her body responds if you step closer. If she creates space between you, she’s likely trying to tell you to back off.

Smiling Often

A woman who smiles at you often might see you as a potential romantic partner according to researchers. Women who smile at men are more likely to be approached. If you see her send a smile your way, it could be because she’d like you to come over and say hello.

Because society can be dangerous for women, we’ve adapted so that we don’t always smile when we’re in public. For instance, if we see someone who gives us a bad feeling, we’ll often intentionally frown or look away to make sure they don’t mistake a polite smile for romantic interest or an invitation to come over.

For men, this might be confusing, but a woman who is smiling at you, making eye contact, and otherwise engaging your attention could want you to approach — but be prepared for rejection in case you read the room wrong. Don’t be discouraged. The only way to truly know is to ask. Just don’t ask a woman to smile — ever.

She’s Into You — Now, It’s Your Move

If you’ve determined that she’s into you, it’s your turn to make a move. This isn’t sexism in action. She could absolutely make a move on you, but if you’re the one trying to figure out her level of interest before taking any next steps, it could be time to move forward.

You could have this conversation face-to-face and ask her out for coffee, dinner, or another dating activity. It’s also possible just to say straight out that you like her in a romantic way and see if she feels the same. Those are bold moves, and not everyone will feel confident and comfortable enough to do them. The good thing is that text can be a good way to find out without risking in-person embarrassment.

Everything you can say in person can be sent by text, email, direct message on social media, or even put on paper and sent the old-fashioned way by snail mail. What’s important is that you let her in on the secret that you like her.

It can be an intimidating step, but here are some things to remember:

  • Confidence matters. It’s brave to make a move, and it’s important to believe that you are worthy of being liked and appreciated. Skip the self-deprecating remarks and lead with confidence instead.
  • If she doesn’t like you in a romantic sense, it’s not personal. You may feel personally rejected, but we all have our preferences. If she doesn’t like you, she’s not for you.
  • Be as simple or as creative as you like. You might be one of those people who can up with a clever and cute way of revealing your feelings. If so, go for it! But if you’re a person who would rather just send a text asking if someone likes you in that way, that’s okay, too. Do what feels authentic to you.
  • Accept rejection with grace. If you like her, make sure you show respect to her even if she turns you down.
  • Keep it classy. Don’t use demeaning or objectifying language. You can let you know you like her without being inappropriate or making her feel uncomfortable.
  • Know what you want. If you like her, what kind of relationship do you want with her? Don’t tell her what you think she wants to hear. If she likes you back, but you want something serious and she wants something casual, this can cause an issue. Be clear that you like her and be clear about what kind of relationship you’d like to pursue with her.
  • Stay a friend. If you were only her friend because you had a romantic interest in her, you were never actually her friend. Friends don’t attach conditions to their relationships. Friendship can be a great foundation for a relationship, but using her friendship out of self-interest alone isn’t friendly at all.
  • The right person will return your feelings. There’s little worse than unrequited love in relationships. It’s a terrible feeling, and I don’t recommend it. If the person you’re into isn’t into you, do yourself a favor and move on. Believe her when she says she doesn’t like you like that and go heal so that you can be open for the one who does.
  • Don’t try to convince her (or anyone) of your worth. You can tell her your feelings, but don’t try to convince her that she should give you a chance if she’s clearly stated she’s not into you. You shouldn’t have to give a monologue on your many great qualities for someone to want to date you. Take your dignity, and leave. There is likely someone else who sees your great qualities without needing a TED Talk on them.
  • Have an attitude of abundance rather than scarcity. Don’t get your heart so set on this one crush that you ignore the possibilities. First of all, she might like you back, and you’ve worried for absolutely no reason at all. Second of all, even if she doesn’t like you back, she’s unlikely the last woman on Earth. You’ll have plenty of other chances to shoot your shot with other people you like.

Women really aren’t that mysterious. Body language cues might be subtle, but if you’re paying attention, you’ll see plenty of them. If all else fails, you can always be brave and just ask. It could clear the air at the very least. Plus, you might just find out that she’s been crushing on you all along. There’s only one way to find out.

Originally published on The Truly Charming

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Crystal Jackson is a former therapist turned writer. She is the author of the Heart of Madison series and a volume of poetry entitled My Words Are Whiskey. Her work has been featured on Medium, Elite Daily, Thought Catalog, The Good Men Project, and Elephant Journal. When she's not writing, you can find her traveling, paddle boarding, cycling, throwing axes badly but with terrifying enthusiasm, hiking, or curled up with her nose in a book in Madison, Georgia, where she lives with one puppy and two wild and wonderful children. Crystal writes about relationships, mental health, parenting, social justice, and more. Never miss an update. Subscribe to emails:

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