Opinion- Debunking the Myths: The Truth About Being Single

Crystal Jackson

Photo byMohamed Nohassi on Unsplash

In a single day, the world will find about 100 ways to tell you that it’s not okay to be single. It’s in advertisements, television shows, books, and even in the way we interact with other people. The message is clear: Our lives don’t begin until we meet someone and join our lives with theirs.

Let this message be clear as well: There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single.

There are a lot of assumptions made about being single. Single people are lonely. Single people are desperate to be in a relationship. Single people are unhappy. Single people have a lot of personal work to do before they are fit for a relationship. Single people have somehow done something wrong not to be in a relationship.

Do you know who cooked up all these ideas? NOT single people, that I can tell you.

What Single People Wish You Knew

  • Sometimes, we do feel lonely or want to be in relationships. But the same can be true for coupled people feeling lonely or longing for a different relationship.
  • Sometimes, we are unhappy — but a relationship wouldn’t prevent us from feeling unhappiness at some point.
  • Being single also doesn’t mean that we need lots of self-improvement; self-improvement is for everyone.
  • Single people don't sit around envying couples.

Let's explore that last point. There’s a misconception that single people sit around envying couples. Let me correct this gross misconception. There are a few couples that give me solid relationship goals. I could probably count them on one hand. These are the ones where we might actually experience a stab of envy. But they are few and far between.

All the other couples? I’ll be honest; most of us single people are giving you some solid side-eye, wondering why you stay in that relationship and putting up with all that garbage.

Sure, it helps to have two incomes, but you also have double some of the bills. There are higher utilities, another phone bill, and the other person’s sometimes questionable spending habits.

Sure, you get help with childcare, if you have kids. You might even get help around the house- although the work distribution in the homes is spectacularly unequal, so having a partner just adds to your stress, labor, and exhaustion unless you’re in the rare household that manages a fair and equal distribution of work both inside and outside of the home.

No, we’re not eyeing most of you with envy. We’re wondering why you put up with so much garbage because we’d rather stay happily single than be unhappily coupled.

Being single doesn't mean we're miserable just like being married doesn't mean you're happy. It's your relationship status, but it's not who you are, what you do, or how you feel. There are a lot of single people out here living our best lives and not looking for a plus-one. We don't feel incomplete, and we don't envy everyone in relationships. These are just a few things most single people wish everyone knew.

Originally published on Medium

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Crystal Jackson is a former therapist turned writer. She is the author of the Heart of Madison series and a volume of poetry entitled My Words Are Whiskey. Her work has been featured on Medium, Elite Daily, Thought Catalog, The Good Men Project, and Elephant Journal. When she's not writing, you can find her traveling, paddle boarding, cycling, throwing axes badly but with terrifying enthusiasm, hiking, or curled up with her nose in a book in Madison, Georgia, where she lives with one puppy and two wild and wonderful children. Crystal writes about relationships, mental health, parenting, social justice, and more. Never miss an update. Subscribe to emails: https://crystaljacksonwriter.substack.com/

Madison, GA

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