People are always saying women are complicated, but the women I know are pretty straightforward. They also seem to spend time trying to figure out what in the world is going on in the brains of men. Particularly where dating is concerned, it can be hard to determine if someone is interested or merely passing the time while throwing out the occasional breadcrumb.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret.
If you ask yourself if he’s interested, he probably isn’t. Men aren’t all that subtle most of the time. If he’s into you, there are some pretty powerful signs. Here are 16 of them.
16 Powerful Signs He’s Attracted to You
He’s Using a Lot of Eye Contact
If he holds your gaze and consistently makes eye contact, it’s a sign that he’s attracted. Keep in mind that many neurodivergent people struggle with eye contact as do people who are shy, so it’s not the only sign. It certainly is one of them, however.
He is Consistent with Contact
This is the single most important sign that he is attracted to you. A man who is interested will be more consistent with contact. Whether that looks like texts, phone calls, dates, or even tagging you in memes, he’s going to go out of his way to reach out to you. An inconsistent texter or someone who comes in and out of your life at their leisure probably isn’t all that invested even if they are somewhat attracted.
He Mirrors Your Body Language
Pay attention to body language. A man who is attracted will turn his body toward yours. He might point his toes, center his core in your direction, or even unconsciously mirror your movements. This is usually a sign he’s attracted to you.
He Smiles at You Often
Does he smile at you more than he smiles at other people? It could be a sign that he likes you as a friend, but it’s also a sign that he finds you attractive. You don’t want to interpret a smile to mean more than it is, but if you’re making a list, you’ll want to add this as a powerful sign he’s attracted.
He Tells His People About You
If the people in his life know about you, it’s a good sign. Has he mentioned you to close friends and family? Has he introduced you to them? It’s a pretty powerful statement if he has — just like it’s a powerful one when he hasn’t. If he can’t stop talking about you and mentioning you in conversation, he’s likely into you.
He Asks for Your Opinion
If he’s seeking out your opinion, it’s a sign of attraction. If he’s seeking your opinion about the women he dates, it’s not. This is one of those things that should seem self-explanatory, but if you want to believe he’s attracted, you might want to interpret everything he does as a sign.
If he wants your opinion about a non-dating issue, he might be attracted. If he wants your opinion about which engagement ring to buy his significant other, you might want to release the idea that he could be into you. Use your common sense to decide.
He Shares Details About His Life, Thoughts, and Feelings
Does he open up to you about his life? If he’s sharing his thoughts and feelings without you having to dig, he wants you to know him. It’s a strong sign he’s attracted to you and interested in developing that relationship.
It can be hard for men in a patriarchal society to be vulnerable about their feelings. If he’s sharing important facts about his life with you, he’s taking the risk that you’ll ridicule or reject him. Even if you don’t share the attraction, be kind to the man who opens up to you. Don’t be the reason he’s afraid to do it in the future.
He Flexes Around You
Want to know if he’s really attracted? He will absolutely flex around you. Not just muscles either. He will show off his skills, humble brag about his accomplishments, and do whatever it takes to broadcast his desirability. It’s a big flex, and it’s an even bigger sign of attraction.
Just note that some people are insecure and need a lot of ego strokes — often from a lot of people. This is a sign of attraction, not compatibility or relationship interest. He might want to get your attention because he thinks you’re attractive, but you’ll need more information to know if he’s really into you in a serious way.
He Leans In
Ah, leaning! This classic technique loudly broadcasts his attraction. In fact, this clip perfectly summarizes how leaning conveys attraction in relationships.
If he’s leaning toward you, he’s interested. It’s a powerful sign he’s attracted to you.
He Wants to Spend Time Alone with You
If he only ever hangs out with you among friends, it’s hard to tell if he’s attracted or not. A strong sign of attraction is when he wants to spend time alone with you and makes the effort to arrange it.
He Tries to Make You Laugh
Is he always making you laugh? Assuming his teasing is good-natured and not mean, you can go ahead and put this in the plus column when it comes to decoding his attraction. His efforts to make you laugh and see you smile are just one of the ways he’s letting you know he thinks you’re attractive.
His Voice Gets Deeper
His voice dropping an octave or two when he speaks to you could also be a sign of attraction. It’s likely unintentional, but if you notice it, it’s a clear sign he’s interested.
His Pupils Dilate
It’s also possible that his pupils will dilate. As explained in an article published in Healthline, oxytocin and dopamine, also called the love hormones, may have an effect on pupil size. This is why they say dilated pupils are a sign of attraction.
This one could be tough to judge because you might not be comfortable yet with getting that close if it’s early days, but this is usually a key sign he’s attracted to you. He won’t notice he’s doing it, but if you’re paying attention, you might see his attraction in his literal eyes.
He Touches You Often
If he casually touches you often, it’s not a subtle clue that he’s attracted. It’s pretty obvious. He might put a hand on your lower back when you walk through a door in front of him. He might sit close or not move away when you sit down and are close enough to touch. Even the most casual touches could be an indication of attraction.
He’s Protective of You
Is he quick to rush to defend you or ask that you text him when you get home? Caring about your safety isn’t just hot. It’s a sign of attraction. While even men who aren’t attracted but are friends will care about your well-being, his protective instincts could be another sign he’s into you.
He Makes an Effort with His Appearance Around You
Does he make an effort to look especially good when you’re around? All that personal grooming could be a clue that he cares how you see him. If he wants to be attractive around you, it could be because he is in fact attracted. A man who is regularly unkempt in your presence probably doesn’t really care how you view him.
Sometimes, it’s hard to decipher attraction simply because your own feelings get in the way. If you’re into him, you might be looking for proof that he’s into you — but you might equally search for proof that he isn’t. You just want to know, but you might be scared to ask and risk rejection.
Even if he’s attracted, there are other considerations. Is it idle attraction? Is he involved with anyone else? Is he even compatible with you? The attraction could lead to an intimate relationship — casual or otherwise.
It could also lead to nothing. Figuring out what kind of attraction could take list-making and super sleuthing, but it could be a matter of asking them out for coffee and seeing if they’re into it.
If you want to really know, you could always ask. Just don’t overlook these powerful and often obvious signs he’s attracted. If you decide he is, you can wait for him to make a move or choose to make one of your own.
Originally published on The Truly Charming