5 Epic Reasons to Source a Partner for Cuffing Season

Crystal Jackson


It’s that time of year again! Pumpkin spice, hayrides, bonfires, apple cider, s’mores, boots, and the traditional boyfriend sweater. Good times.

If we don’t have a partner going into Fall, this seems to be high season for rushing out to source one before true cuddling weather hits and no one feels like stepping outside anymore.

It seems the time is limited to find a partner before Fall turns to Winter and all is lost! The sense of urgency abounds on dating sites as people match with greater fury, frenzy, and frequency in hopes of weeding through all the bad apples to find the best of the bunch.

If you’re dating online and suddenly feel like it’s turned into speed dating, know that cuddle season is well and truly upon us. Clearly, the time to find a special someone is now. Lower those standards, ladies, gents, and all others, because a handy plus-one may only be a swipe, match, click, or message away.

Here are 5 epic reasons to source a partner for cuffing season:

Baby, It’s Cold Outside

I mean, no, it’s not cold yet. At least, it’s definitely not here in the southernmost part of the United States. But it will be. One day. And you’ll definitely need a warm body to help you survive.

You can’t just turn up the heat, grab an extra blanket, or throw on some layers. No, what you really need is another body to keep you warm through cuddling. Cold hands, warm heart — isn’t that what they say? Well, baby, it’s cold outside if you’re single, and only a plus-one will warm that heart right up to toasty.

Boyfriend Sweaters Don’t Buy Themselves

After all, how are we going to wear a boyfriend sweater without a handy boyfriend? Let’s just ignore the fact that buying a men’s sweater and spraying it with cologne is totally doable without the inconveniences of dating. Let’s assume we actually want a warm body in it and not just the sweater.

Or perhaps you are the boyfriend in this scenario only no one actually calls you that because you don’t yet have a partner. Time to rush out and find one, so that you can gift your sweater to one lucky- relieved, grateful- recipient.

Find a Plus-One for Farm Fun & Other Epic Fall Dates

The hayrides and bonfires of your autumn dreams don’t exactly measure up if you’re roasting marshmallows alone, am I right? S’mores taste so much better when made with a partner. If they’re shared, that’s half the calories, too!

Don’t forget all the other farm fun dates you could go on with your brand new partner. Consider apple picking and pick-your-own-pumpkin, and you can even take selfies in a sunflower field this season. Throw on some plaid, and throw axes with your new bae for a particularly epic- and fun- spin on the season. Don’t forget about the haunted houses, too! That’s a great opportunity for some couples’ fun!

Tis the season for fall fun — and all the events that come with it. Consider the numerous wedding and holiday invitations just piling up and waiting for your reply. Quick! Find a partner! Then, you can RSVP for two.

Okay--so maybe in a Covid year, you won't find quite as many invitations or events to attend (I hope). But you'll know in your heart you have a plus-one if you need one.

Just think: they could come in handy in the future. Otherwise, enjoy sitting at the singles’ tables or worse — the kiddie tables — at fall-themed weddings everywhere, and get used to watching teary-eyed while everyone else dances to cliched wedding songs and you sit alone and wonder why it has to be so hard to find a reliable partner these days.

You Need a Zombie Apocalypse Partner

It's the Year 2020, and if you need a good reason to cuff a partner today, it's to survive. Who knows when another lockdown will happen or how long it will stay in place. You'll want to select your zombie apocalypse partner now--purely for survival purposes. Not at all for the warm snuggles or sex.

First, determine their skillset--not just in the bedroom. Can they cook? How do they feel about cleaning up after themselves? Do they get easily bored?

Also, assess entertainment compatibility. Can they survive an apocalypse with you binge-watching Schitt's Creek? Are your tastes in music on par with one another? Figuring this out can help you locate the right partner for the next end-of-the-world scenario.

Scary Movies Turn Chills to Thrills When You Watch Together

If you think the true horror of the season is wading through dating profiles, you’re probably right. Just when you think it can’t get any scarier, it does, and you may feel more and more certain that all the good ones are taken — and more are being snatched up every minute! Oh, the horror!

But then you have to consider scary movie season. What’s the fun of watching a horror movie if you can’t use the scary parts to cuddle up to your person? All those movie chills could turn to hot thrills when you get close to the one you’re with, which you can’t exactly do when you’re single. No, a horror movie marathon might be out for the season if you can’t find someone special — or anyone at all — to share the suspense.

Then, the true horror will begin when you face the upcoming holiday season on your own!

Maybe the perfect partner is only a match, click, swipe, or message away.

If only you keep looking. And lowering your standards. And trying your hardest to make it happen. If only you just worked a little harder, that handy plus-one might reveal themselves.

Maybe you’ll have spent the entire season resenting your single status so much that you missed out on the Fall fun. Instead of enjoying the fun and cozy season for everything wonderful about it, you might have wasted time resenting the lack of cuddle buddy (and accompanying sweater to steal). You may even have declined to participate in events because you’d have to do it alone, and it just didn’t sound that appealing. But missing it altogether sounds even less appealing.

Or perhaps you found a handy plus-one because you hit pause on your standards. Maybe you put up with some behavior you normally wouldn’t allow or you used someone you weren’t crazy about to keep you warm through the coming cold season. You had warm hands — but a cold heart. Was it worth it to weather the season anything but alone?

Sure, there are some truly epic reasons to source a partner for cuffing season, but that doesn’t mean they’re the right ones.

Maybe your perfect partner is out there waiting — plaid-clad and eager for you to fall directly into their arms shouting Timber (or was that Tinder?) before going out to enjoy all that the Autumn season has to offer.

But maybe the timing isn’t quite right or it’ll take a little longer to find someone truly worth your time and energy. If you can sit through a horror movie marathon, you just might have what it takes to survive this season solo. It’s not for the faint of heart.

If, however, that idea doesn’t appeal, you better hurry up and find that plus-one before all the best partners are picked faster than pumpkins in a patch during the fall dating season.

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Crystal Jackson is a former therapist turned writer. She is the author of the Heart of Madison series and a volume of poetry entitled My Words Are Whiskey. Her work has been featured on Medium, Elite Daily, Thought Catalog, The Good Men Project, and Elephant Journal. When she's not writing, you can find her traveling, paddle boarding, cycling, throwing axes badly but with terrifying enthusiasm, hiking, or curled up with her nose in a book in Madison, Georgia, where she lives with one puppy and two wild and wonderful children. Crystal writes about relationships, mental health, parenting, social justice, and more. Never miss an update. Subscribe to emails: https://crystaljacksonwriter.substack.com/

Madison, GA

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