White cashier ignores a black woman who’s first in line to serve a White man. Lesson learned on Kindness of strangers

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*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events I experienced firsthand; used with permission.

I was lining up to buy coffee at a cafe in Heathrow. Being the next in line to be served, the white cashier called the white guy behind me to serve him. I thought it was a mistake and started walking towards her. She insisted that the guy behind me goes first! Instead of going to be served, the sweet guy pointed at me and said to the cashier, “She’s next in line.” The guy refused to be served until I was served. We had lined up so well and was so sure there was no confusion as to who was first in line.

I have to admit, I was pissed off. “Oh heavens! What’s going on here?!” I wondered. My mind went bonkers! Was it possible that she couldn’t see this 170 pounds beautiful African woman who was right in front of the line? Or did I look like a tiny invisible ant idling around in front of her eyes??? It was strange!

I didn’t say a word when I got to the counter but decided to give my eyes permission to do the talking. I stared at her face trying to look for answers. I didn’t want to create a scene or give people permission to label me the “angry black woman.” There were no answers on her face. You could sense she was embarrassed. She started talking to herself saying she didn’t have enough sleep the previous night blah blah blah but of course I couldn’t buy that baloney.

There’s a certain kind of maturity and peace that only God, universe or whatever higher power you believe in can give when it comes to handling our emotions when mad. Within a very short time, my thoughts were redirected to the guy behind me. The one who refused service until I was served. That’s the guy i chose to give my energy to. With a big smile on my face, I told him Thank you! I took my coffee and walked away.

There are times when we have to ask ourselves,

“Is this battle worth fighting?”

”When do I need to say something and how do I say it?”

”When I am feeling so down and like I have been unfairly treated, what can do to sooth myself?”

I chose to see the dim of light that this guy put on my face despite feeling angry, disrespected and discriminated against by that cashier. I refused to allow her “stupidity “ dictate my travel mood.

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Disclaimer: This article is written for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for individualized support. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233.

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I am a writer who writes about her own life experiences and what I have learned while acquiring my clinical experience. I hold a master of arts degree specializing in marriage and family therapy. The content shared here is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for seeking therapy.

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