A definition of 'true love' is found between a parent and a child

CJ Coombs

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Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash.

There are several forms of love.

I have always believed the only form of true love there exists is the exchange of perfect emotion between a parent and a child.

I believe other forms expand into passions like the love for creativity, cooking, or sports. According to the blog, The Creative Side of Love published in HuffPost, "Creativity is love's expression in the world, to be shared and enjoyed by all."

I believe you can love and fall in love and confuse a habit in a relationship as being love. True love, however, is the most unconditional affection a parent has for a child.

There’s nothing like a special bond between a parent and infant after birth. You can’t touch it or see it although the very essence of it is there. You know it is.

The bonding is magical. The bonding is so intense.

I was a very young adult when my son was born and his birth was surreal to me. He was born two weeks early reaching into life a little over 7 lbs. This tiny life was looking to me for guidance, food, and security. True love. Today, he is a husband and father of three girls.

After several years, my daughter was born. I had to have an emergency C-section. I had to have an emergency partial hysterectomy because of a life-threatening situation caused by placenta previa. I was 28. It was a young age to learn child bearing experiences were over.

My daughter was born two weeks early. She was 5 lbs. 12 oz. The bond I felt with her was so strong because no condition was going to stop her from being born. She was literally clinging for life to happen. Today, my daughter is a healthy wife and mother of one daughter and two sons.

Today, I look at both my children and my six grandees and know the love that grows between us all must be true love. It can be challenged, but it never fails to grow.

We are glued to each other with the bond of love and the lessons it provides.

The difference between loving your child and loving a partner

True love stories never have endings. — Richard Bach (Source.)

A lot of couples have the tendency to try and change something about their partner. When you claim to have a special love for your partner, then you don’t change anything. It’s supposed to be unconditional.

You may influence behaviors with your child, but you’re not making a list of things you want to change. You want to enhance attributes, improve characteristics, and praise and lift up to create a child’s self-esteem and self-love. It is infinite love. According to The Pragmatic Parent, in 14 Factors Influencing a Child’s Behavior or Can Trigger Their Misbehavior,

When you come from a place of empathy and respect for your child’s feelings, and then take an investigative approach to finding out WHY your child is acting the way they do, you can focus on changing their behavior and helping them, instead of putting the focus on punishment or consequences.

You also don't want to lose yourself in your children although it's hard not to. You want to grow just as your children grow from the lessons you present them with.

Don’t think your partner is wonderful if you lost yourself in him or her. You don’t want to do that and you certainly don’t want to confuse that as love.

In love, there are two things — bodies and words. — Joyce Carol Oates (Source.)

When I refer to the love for a child as true love, I believe it is love that is so pure and unconditional. That isn’t to imply it will never be challenged.

I believe you can have a profound love for a partner that is sometimes unconditional, that is if you have no unrealistic expectations. You might fall in love (or think you’re in love) and if it’s not a mutual feeling, then it can only be a friendship.

As parents, we want our children to feel secure and safe with us and with immeasurable love. A love, for me, is a key part of the equation of what a parent feels for a child.

True love isn’t about Cinderella, sorry

If you’re waiting for someone to bring you a glass slipper to try on, stop waiting.

You can’t go through life hanging onto the coattails of a fairy tale.

And, certainly, it’s not what you see in the movies. Remember Audrey Hepburn? She’s still one of my heroes because she knew the value of being a lady. When she was in the old movie, Sabrina, as the chauffer’s daughter, well, I wanted to be that daughter. Silly girl, I was, thinking if I grew up watching all reruns of movies, that they were teaching me about emotion.

Old movies taught me I was idealistic.

True love is not having a perfect relationship. It’s not having a perfect person or being a perfect person either. True love is not about always getting along, always having the best circumstances, or always having things easy with your partner…. Some people confuse true love with behaviors that are more related to codependency, low self-esteem, and people-pleasing. True love is not going to try to control you. Someone who loves you will want you to be your unique self. They’re not going to make unjust demands or expect you to always give in when a compromise needs to be made. (Written by Stephanie Kirby for Advice section of BetterHelp.) [Emphasis added.]

Disclaimer: This content reflects the personal opinions and experiences of the author. It should not be substituted for advice received by a professional.

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30 years of legal secretarial experience, and a BA in Eng Journalism & Creative Writing. Thinker, giver, and lover of life. Born into Air Force service life, my life has taken me to Louisiana, Idaho, Kauai, Nebraska, South Dakota, and Missouri. I love family, art, truth, non-fiction, reading, history, and travel.

Kansas City, MO
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