4 Things Not To Say in a Relationship

Chris McQueen

#2 I told you so


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Loving your significant other is one of the most essential ingredients to a working relationship. However, love itself will not suffice. It would be best if you also were willing to act, go all in and make sacrifices. But the glue that will keep your relationship together is communication.

Here are four things you shouldn't say to your partner if you want to spend your life together.

#1 I don't care

Indifference drives me up the wall. It's one of those things that make my blood boil. Imagine this situation: You're planning a great picnic with your spouse in spring and have gone the extra mile to get excellent food and a pretty blanket. The evening before, you ask your partner: "Where would you like to go for the picnic?" If he/she answered, "I don't care", this wouldn't show any interest in the activity at all. If you don't mind instead think for a minute and say something along the lines: "Awesome, thanks so much for your great idea. I'll have a think and get back to you." or you could say, "What were you thinking of?" and turn the question around.

Everything's better than showing indifference. Please avoid it like a pest.

#2 I told you so

As humans, we love being right. When you make a mistake, you hate being wrong. It's tough for some people to admit they've missed the mark. If you're the one who's stuffed up, the last thing you want to hear is your partner telling you they were right and you were wrong. This will rub more and more dirt into the already bleeding wound.

When you're in the right, move on to the next topic. Show empathy and understanding. "I could've made that same mistake", or "Don't worry; we can fix it together". These phrases will motivate your partner and help them out of the pit of despair.

#3 We're not like we used to be

I've never heard my girlfriend say this to me, and I'm not in a hurry to listen to it either. Hearing this must be so painful. As we all change over time, it's even more important to grow together, spend time with one another and bond as a couple. If you refrain from these activities, it will be very hard not to drift away. As a couple, you both have a responsibility to make sure you can talk about everything with your partner and not have secrets.

Rather than avoiding questions and uncomfortable truths, tackle the bull by his horns and get to the bottom of the issue. You will both thank each other in the long run.

#4 Because I say so

This phrase is better left to parents reprimanding their toddlers. In a relationship, both parties are equal. Both partners have a responsibility. Even if some cultures might promote the concept of the man being above the woman, both partners should have their say when it gets to the emotional side of this argument. "Because I say so" has a negative connotation. Additionally, it leaves no room for debate. A statement like this one is absolute.

Empathy has left the chat. Although compassion is needed in the relationship, sometimes we focus so much on the task at hand. We forget to ask the significant other their opinion and why they have come to an opposing solution.

Make an effort to understand your partner. Try and connect with them. It's worth it in the long run.

A long journey ahead

It might seem the journey ahead is too long, too complicated and too hard. Yet if you want a lasting relationship, you will need to communicate. Show empathy. You will get extra points for asking a girl about how they feel. For men, remember to honour and respect their man cave. There's a fine line between loving and neediness.

But for this article, let's reflect on the four phrases you should refrain from telling your partner:

  • "I don't care."
  • "I told you so."
  • "We're not like we used to be"
  • "Because I say so."

If you can avoid these phrases, you're set for a better relationship.

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Writer of productivity and life hack topics. Business informatics students. Constantly learning and growing as a writer


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