There Are Only 4 Reasons People Change; Which Reason is Yours?

Chris Freyler
Photo by Akil Mazumder:

So many talks about change, but very few take action to do it. There could be various things you are trying to change in your life. Most people give up and lose hope when the change doesn’t come quickly enough. Very few have the drive, determination, and awareness to get the ball of “change” in motion.

Many spend years in a repeated cycle of conditioning while they know they need to change, but for some reason, they can’t. I’ve had all 4 reasons cross my mind at one time or another. I am one of those that struggle with change. It can be excruciating and challenging at times and a bit overwhelming. So I catch myself falling back into my miserable comfort only to start from ground zero again.

Hopefully, these 4 reasons will shed some light on why you struggle or haven’t taken that leap to change what you have been thinking about for months or maybe years.

You have to hurt enough

This could be physical, emotional, or spiritual pain. Or hell, it could be a combination of all three. Once you have suffered enough, some are forced to change. But at times, the pain of change can supersede the issue you are trying to change in your life. Many get stuck in a mentality that there is no way out. Or this is how my life must be, which is far from the truth.

We are the only ones that know when enough is enough. It could be a relationship, eating habits, drinking, drugs, career, or a variety of things we “fear” the unknown of change. Once you realize the change you crave can be no worse than the hell you are living now, I believe this is when you are forced to change. But in reality, you choose change because you can’t live another day like you are living presently.

Some will see enough in others that inspire them to change

I believe seeing in others what you want for yourself is very beneficial. I think this is why there is some success with 12-step groups. Many went in busted and broke down and heard the stories of others that experienced the same pain. They see the person thriving and creating a great life. In return, another person’s story of hope pushes them enough to initiate change in themselves.

How often have you watched a motivational speaker or someone who has come from an abusive background only to turn the tables and put effort into change and a life they love? If not love, at least a life that is more tolerable.

If more people had helped one another instead of turning on one another, the world would be different. The world is turning us against one another with hate and division. When this is the last thing we need, but “they” want it for control.

Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up. I struggle with this because of the mistreatment from an ex. I am going through this process as I write this.

There is tons of information out there to learn from

This is a big one. Once you educate yourself enough, sometimes, that’s all it takes. You equip yourself with the knowledge and insight and attack your issues head-on. It may take years of research, reading, writing, screwing up, the whole nine yards, but there will come a time it all makes sense.

When that time comes, you will put into action to create the wisdom of the awareness you found, and change will be inevitable.

Some will receive enough that you will be inspired to

I believe this is the point where I am. I have more of a following over on Quora, but the amount of support I get from my followers is terrific. It can’t be explained. On the lowest of low days, as I am fighting a vicious trauma bond and my own personal demons, I get that one random message from a stranger that inspires me. That one message from someone I never met or talked to takes a minute out of their day to let me know I am not alone.

It also helps when I get messages saying I have helped many with my stories and struggles. We are all in this world together; none of us will get out alive, so why not help and support one another?

There is a definite power in numbers. The bigger your supporting tribe is, the chances can quickly turn in your favor.

The takeaway

Change is very difficult. I know; I struggle with it every day. One screw up at a time, I am inching closer, but for some reason, I keep procrastinating.

No one can do the work for me. And sometimes, the anxiety I feel is good because it arrives just as positive change is happening in my life. And for some reason, I can’t separate good anxiety from bad. And I go into default and self-sabotage when I should do the exact opposite and lean into the anxiety.

People change when they hurt, learn, see, or receive enough. Remember that.

I believe change is easier than I think; I just like complicating things.

What about you?

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I'm spreading awareness, hope, and experiences. I write on psychology, mental health, spirituality and awarness.

Cincinnati, OH

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