Opinion: Do People Eventually See Through The Narcissists Manipulation?


Photo byPhoto by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash

I think people do eventually see through Narcissism. Actually, quicker than one would think. But there is a thing called denial, and all victims and even the narcissist live in it.

The difference with the victim is if they stay in the abuse long enough, they will be forced to snap out of the denial or lose their sanity sitting in it. Many victims spend years "denying" they are in denial while further strengthening the vicious trauma bond.

The narcissist, on the other hand, it's how they survive. So denial becomes normal to them; it makes them feel better and accepted. It's why many are so freaking delusional too. Any truth the victim speaks to the Narcissist will quickly be met with projection, gaslighting, denial and possibly the silent treatment.

The victim knows something is off. All the gaslighting, projection, and betrayal finally crack the layer of denial, but this can take years. And when it finally does it's a painful pill to swallow.

Unfortunately, some victims refuse to leave. The pain of staying is much less painful than taking the path where the victim has to look inward. Self-reflection isn't for the faint of heart.

And a Narcissist knows you will eventually see through them. That's why they quickly get rid of you and move on to the next! But they will keep you just enough at a "distance" for your ole trauma-bonded brain to kick in and the denial to resurface. They know it's coming. Then the narcissist will throw some feelers out to see if your "denial" is back.

But eventually, some get fed up.

That's why I'm a firm believer some must keep returning to the "chaos." It's the only way out of denial and the only way for the victim to break what the narcissist never will. The more you go back the more you are forcing yourself to take the monster head on.

It's a torturous lesson, but the most valuable if you've experienced it. It's a lesson no textbook, teacher, or degree can teach.

You learn only from experience. And if you haven't experienced it, you have no idea what you're missing until you do.

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Cincinnati, OH

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