Opinion: To be single in today's world you must be comfortable being alone

Chris

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After years of “settling” many learn the brutal truth of a miserable marriage or, relationship.

This isn’t a negative article, it’s reality.

We are trained at a very early age to find a husband/wife, that WILL bring happiness. We are told to stick through abuse and misery, that’s unconditional love! Stay by your man or, woman! Not only friends and family encourage it, but your church will too. They will suggest therapy to deal with the toxic situation you need to leave.

So many girls are raised to find a man that can take care of them. They are screwed right out of the gate. They are taught to lose their independence and find it in someone who can provide for them. Many never get to experience the freedom and empowerment of being self sufficient and dependent.

So many marriages and relationships are forced. In the end, they live in delusion where they settle and don’t even know they are settling. That’s LIFE! The life we were conditioned to believe. By the time you realize you settled years have past by while you start questioning your purpose in life.

By the time most people are 25–30 years old they have spent more time chasing a partner than they have chasing their own identity. If you are single there must be something wrong with you, right?

Their whole identity becomes this fairy tale romance and a love that doesn’t exist. But the media and movies have us believing different. Most people fall trap to that "Hallmark" movie romance, when in reality, it doesn't exist. I am not saying there aren't great relationships out there, but the good relationships take a lot of work long-term. Anyone can have a happy relationship in the first 1-2 months. It's right around the 3-6 month point is when things begin to fall apart.

Relationships are a lot of work. But no one wants to put in the work, hence why they jump person to person. They are in a never ending search for the “right” person. It becomes an obsession for most as their biological clock is ticking to get their family started ASAP. The spend the majority of their young life dreaming and waiting for that marriage, 2 kids and the white picket fence.

The reason many jump person to person is because they’ve never BEEN alone, it frightens them!

I KNOW. I used to frighten me. Not no more. I have nothing to offer anyone yet. I have a lot of work to do. Unless the right person with the same awareness and similar beliefs comes along, who knows. My days of settling are done. I deserve better and first I have to prove that to myself with self-care and acceptance.

How many friends and family members do you know that are fooling themselves and, others with fake social media post and an illusion of happiness?

Great relationships aren’t “born” they are created through two self-aware and, action driven people.

There is no brutal truth to being single

It’s a great relief once you figure out you have a ton of work to do on yourself before you can offer “anything” to another person.

What happens is you get two unaware people that hook up on the first date. The infatuation starts, as does the honeymoon phase. And as time has it, it turns sour pretty quick. Very few know what true love is. It’s generally two dysfunctional people who think they are in love. Then decide to reproduce and raise dysfunctional kids in a disordered world and call it love.

No one can stay single long enough to figure out they’re living the miserable truth.

But they are married. Not single.

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