I’d say 99% of Narcissist have no idea they are Narcissist. Unless they are very aware, which doesn’t exist.
Most really believe they are empaths. That is what’s scary. Many coverts portray an image on social media that doesn’t exist. An empathic person doesn’t repeatedly lie, cheat, manipulate and rip souls out! The more covert, the more believable they will be. Especially if they are the “spiritual” type. They may use the spiritual dogma as a means to work their way into a victim’s life while the victim is completely unaware.
They are what I call, “loathing path,” which means they act as if they care for others, but all they care about is themselves. They will treat you poorly, and they play the victim when you react. They are very good at disguising their abuse and projecting what they do onto others. As they slowly gain an audience backing up their narrative, they are the victim, not you.
All the so-called “self-help” they offer is for attention and a projection of what they need to work on. When they are anything but an expert. They will attach to titles and particular people to give them that false sense of power they don’t possess.
They are so delusional they offer help with the very things they do. Lie, cheat and manipulate! So they are an expert, but not in the way you want. You might see them writing on topics such as Narcissism and domestic abuse. Still, if you knew the whole situation, they are actually describing themselves in the case. They are pros at deflecting any negativity off them onto others.
They love to claim to be victims of abuse when, in fact, they are the abuser.
The bottom line, in their delusional world, they do think they are the victim. They can not and will not accept how abusive and shitty they treat people. The more the victim pushes for validation from them, the more they will become confused and might actually start blaming themselves.
And when the victim gets tired of it, they snap back and react, which keeps the cycle going and proves the Narcissist’s point, they are the victim, and all they are trying to do is help “you.” “Don’t you know you are emotionally unstable?” Look at the way you are reacting, you crazy lunatic! Calm down! They love to make the victim question and doubt their reality.
Covert Narcissist is the most damaging form of Narcissism if you ask me.
Throw in a bit of histrionic or borderline traits, and you have the recipe for complete mind-screwing insanity!
Their abuse can be very subtle with bread crumbs and sweetness to keep you going bonkers for years trying to figure this shit out. Your mind will want to revert to all the good times while forgetting the bad. And with each time you go back, you are letting the Narcissist know the abuse “isn’t” that bad. Why else would you keep coming back and chasing them?
Their words and actions will never match. When their mouth is moving, all you have to do is watch their actions. Their actions will tell you everything, although the repeated manipulation you are enduring will keep you stuck believing their words. You will be punished for having natural feelings and emotions and begin to distrust yourself.
Why would they admit they are narcissists? They do a damn good job at the projection and make the partner question if they are Narcissists!
Oh yeah, and because they believe their own deslusion, they really do!