Humans Struggle With "Grass is Greener" Syndrome

Stacy Ann

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Today in our current world we are able to view everyone’s lives from our cell phones. We are bombarded with images of constant adventures, beautiful people, perfect bodies, seemingly perfect relationships, and all the noise makes it almost impossible to feel content these days.

The same message is constantly being whispered in our ears. We should be doing more. We should be achieving more. We should be working on ourselves more. We should read more self-help books, make more money, get a better job, work out more, travel more… the list is never-ending.

"Grass is Greener Syndrome" is a real term for a psychological condition. It’s the belief that there is always something better than what we have and we are missing out. It doesn’t feel possible to fully invest in one thing or person, so we all have one foot out the door.

Here are common indicators that you may not be living in the present, but instead are focused on fantasy.

It feels like what you have isn’t enough.

Things will be perfect when you get married, have the perfect job, have kids, have more money… the list goes on and on. You are not satisfied with where you are and you never have been. It seems like everything you want is just out of your reach.

I hate to break it to you, but there isn’t a perfect moment in life when things just fall into place.

You desire someone else’s reality.

A few months ago I was comparing my current relationship to everyone else’s and feeling unsatisfied until my partner pointed out I was trying to mold our relationship to fit what I thought it should look like.

We are different people than our friends and family. We are all at different career points, our own pace, and the relationship you or I have is not going to look the same because it’s not the same.

Often people compare themselves to lives on social media. It’s not healthy, nor are we looking at a picture of the actual reality. It’s just a picture.

There are daydreams of infidelity.

Just because someone looks better and seems like a better match than your current partner doesn’t mean having an affair isn’t going to blow up in your face. Cheating doesn’t usually make you feel good, nor is it respectful to any parties involved.

Online dating apps mean that someone is available at the swipe of a button. When your relationship is struggling it’s comforting to know that there are a million other options around the corner ready to compliment you.

You don’t know who the seemingly perfect person is behind closed doors. Evaluate if you actually are unhappy, or if you just think something else will be better.

What are a couple of ways you can offset this mindset?

Identify what you are grateful for.

Lately, I realized I was completely stuck in wallowing about my day-to-day life. Instead of being grateful for my job, I was grumpy that I’m not exactly where to want to be. Instead of being grateful for my amazing relationships, I take them for granted and didn’t prioritize them

Life is unpredictable and we have no idea what tomorrow is going to bring. Instead of complaining, take the time today to write down five things that you’re grateful for. I promise that it is an amazing first step to work towards changing your mindset.

Identify why you would be happier

What happens when you get the job you want, or the baby, or the wedding, or the house? Suddenly everything is perfect? That’s simply not the case. We have no guarantee. We are simply assuming there’s a point where everything in life falls into place. A new car, house, relationship, job, none of it is going to be the source of your happiness. The only person that can come from, is you.

Live in the present

The future isn’t here right now. All we have is the life we’re in now. If you aren’t happy with that, start working on yourself and figuring out what you want to change, but also enjoy the moments you have now. Time is going against us and it’s all that we have. Don't reach towards a future that doesn’t exist whereas living in the present allows you to enjoy the life you have in the here and now.

Sources:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/relationships-balance/2013/03/16/the-grass-is-greener-syndrome#:~:text=The%20hallmark%20of%20the%20%E2%80%9Cgrass,than%20ideal%20won't%20do.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-you-and-me/201709/why-we-stop-appreciating-the-good-things-in-our-lives

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I am a writer & relationship consultant that primarily deals with narcissism, overcoming abuse & trauma, and self-love. Contact me @ Blog: carriewynn.com Instagram: carrie_wynnmusings

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