Over a year ago I connected with someone on a social media platform. This individual has hundreds of thousands of followers and is a therapist/life coach for victims of narcissistic abuse. At one point he even provided me great insight/feedback into how he has built up his business.
Earlier this week, I learned from another content creator that he is apparently posing as a therapist and charging women who have been through narcissistic abuse hundreds or even thousands of dollars. What do they get after paying him? Some high-level advice and recommendations for books on healing that they can read together.
People have begun asking for his license and he has provided no proof of his qualifications. There are no credentials that I have personally been able to find after doing some research/digging.
To be honest, I was shocked. This isn’t someone who has a few followers, he has hundreds of thousands. He is equipped with deep knowledge of narcissistic abuse and now, there are claims that he is a narcissist.
As of now, he has not addressed these accusations. In fact, he has sent many of his followers to report that the victim’s claims are lies to ensure that her videos get fewer views on the platform.
To say that I’m discouraged by hearing that this could be a possibility is putting it lightly.
I’m exhausted, frustrated, and angered that victims who have already been through hell are possibly being preyed upon.
Therapy/coaching is not a realm that is devoid of manipulators/narcissists. In fact, we have to take into consideration the reality that in time, a therapist gets to know the deepest parts of who we are and what we have endured.
We view these people as trusted and safe and in most cases they are. However, as with anything, there are exceptions and there are going to be manipulative people in every vein of life.
I reached out to a fellow survivor of narcissistic abuse on this platform. She revealed that she had been aware that this “therapist” was manipulative women prior to the victim speaking out. Then, she said exactly what I had been thinking in more eloquent form.
“People trust a therapist. People come into these spaces where all the empaths and vulnerable victims are for a reason… because they know that they can con them, and gain their trust.”
If this individual is lying about being a therapist and being licensed that is extremely terrifying as vulnerable people will trust that he has those credentials. That says everything about his character that I need or ever want to know.
Yet what terrifies me the most is that this individual is extremely knowledgeable about psychology as a whole and is smart with his words.
There are hundreds of thousands of followers listening to his messaging. Dozens and dozens of people (primarily women) comment on his videos and are extremely susceptible to his advice.
I am writing this because I want to remind you that you have to be careful, especially when you are in a vulnerable state after leaving an abusive relationship.
The reality is that therapy can be life-changing and I am wholeheartedly a therapy advocate. However, there are bad therapists. There are people who will manipulate and prey on victims and their vulnerabilities.
If you feel like you have encountered this, or are questioning your therapist's methods, take the time to identify if they exude any red flags.
As you cultivate boundaries and begin your healing journey, you may still be in a place of vulnerability. Remember, not everything can be taken at face value and it is often the people who are the most eloquent with their words that are the most manipulative.