Relationships Transpire Regardless of Age

Carrie Wynn

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Recently on one of my social media accounts, I posted a video about my partner and how he had helped support me as I worked through my trauma and past when we started dating.

A lovely woman left me a comment saying that she hoped she would have the opportunity to find someone in her next life.

She appeared to be in her mid-forties and when I asked why she believed that she wouldn’t find anyone, she lamented that she had run out of time.

I told her that my mother (who is much older) divorced my father after thirty years of marriage and found someone that was much more compatible with her on the other side of the world.

The reason I told that story was that I didn’t want this woman to continue believing that it was too late for her to find love when it’s simply not true.

Here is why you can find a relationship regardless of your age and some of the benefits that come with dating later in life.

#1. You know what you will/won’t tolerate

What I tolerated in a relationship when I was eighteen is very different than what I will tolerate in a relationship now.

When you are young you usually haven’t cultivated healthy boundaries. You don’t know what you want in a relationship, and it’s easy to let toxic behaviors slide.

Fast forward twenty or thirty years and most people don’t have the patience to tolerate less than ideal behavior.

Instead, they know what they want, what they are seeking, and they know that they will not tolerate anything less than what they deserve.

#2. Sometimes you meet the right person later in life

When I was younger, I didn’t understand how my Mom could be married for thirty years and end up leaving for a completely new life right before she turned fifty.

Now that I am older, I am able to understand.

She and my father were not compatible and she found someone who not only made her much happier but provided her a chance to have the life of adventure she had always wanted.

Many people I know got married in their early twenties and then they got divorced after a couple of years because they gave in to the pressure of societal norms to get married at a certain age.

Everyone goes at their own speeds and just because someone met a great match at twenty-five doesn’t mean that you won’t meet them at fifty.

#3. You both have lived a good chunk of your lives

When you have lived for a few decades you have likely gone through heartbreaks, trauma, joy, life lessons, and you can bring all of that with you into your dating/relationship journey.

Last year there was a show on Netflix called Dating Around where someone goes on a date with five different individuals and then picks one at the end of the episode.

In one of the episodes, we follow an older gentleman named Leonard who is dating around after his wife passes away.

I was struck by how honest and transparent the dates were because Leonard and the women he met had all been in relationships and wanted to get straight into the nitty-gritty details of each other’s lives.

#4. Your ability to love doesn’t run out

When I was younger I believed that there was a limited amount of love that I had to give throughout my life and that when I used it all up it would be completely gone.

As I have gotten older and have been in many relationships, I have learned that love comes in all shapes and sizes if we allow it to be part of our lives.

It is easy to carry our baggage with us into relationships as we get older. It is easy to listen to past trauma whispering that love isn’t worth it and that we shouldn’t even try.

However, I would argue that love is too short and we should love as much as we can in the time that we are given.

After all, our ability to love and care for someone else is what makes us human.

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I am a writer & relationship consultant that primarily deals with narcissism, overcoming abuse & trauma, and self-love. Contact me @ Blog: carriewynn.com Instagram: carrie_wynnmusings

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