People Change Post Narcissistic Abuse

Carrie Wynn

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It was so difficult to pull yourself away from their clutches. Yet at some point, you realized that the mask had come off and your partner was the opposite of who they had promised to be.

Whether it was the abuse, physical or emotional, the mind games, or the constant manipulation and lies… it doesn’t matter because you realized the truth that was right in front of you.

You finally realized that if you didn’t leave then your life would never be yours again.

So you did it. You took control of your life for the first time in ages. You stood up and walked away… but things are not the same as they were before you met the narcissist and gave them your heart.

You don’t feel like yourself and it is going to take a long time to work through the trauma. Here are the reasons why you are struggling to work through your emotions and trauma, and what you need to do to begin healing.

Your self-esteem took a huge hit.

Someone love-bombed you and claimed that you were your soulmate. They presented themself as your knight in shining armor and promised that they were going to always be there for you.

The love you were seeking and you thought you had found was ripped away from you.

Out of nowhere the trust that had been built between you and your partner was shattered and your entire fantasy came crashing down. You went from being “loved” by someone to being devalued and discarded. It is a painful and horrific experience that would mess with anyone’s mind, heart, and self-esteem.

You lost touch with yourself.

Without even realizing what was happening you gave someone else complete control over you.

Instead of asking yourself what you wanted all that you did was care about what the narcissist wanted.

You didn’t want to deal with the backlash and the uncomfortable fighting that came if you did try to stand up for yourself.

You lacked the ability to trust yourself because they made you feel like all of your value was in them. Even though you may have been self-confident and independent before dating the narcissist but now you don’t know what you want, what you think, or what happened.

Your support system was torn apart.

A narcissist wants to be in control. If you have healthy and supportive relationships in your life that is going to be a threat to them and their goal of dominating you.

Because they are so demanding you will find that you are constantly waiting on the narcissist and putting their needs before your own.

This is extremely draining and makes it a struggle to keep up with the friendships, hobbies, and life that you before them because you are so emotionally exhausted.

You have to learn to love yourself again.

The narcissist has devalued you, tore you apart, and you have to pick yourself off the ground and pick up the pieces of your life.

Please know that you are not alone in this experience. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. It may not seem like it at first because you have been through absolute hell, but there truly is.

You need to accept the fact that you were/are a victim but now you are a survivor. You can rise up and draw from the strength within you to emerge an even stronger person after your experiences.

The narcissist did not take you down, and they will not win. You will win in the end by leaving and reclaiming your life.

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I am a writer & relationship consultant that primarily deals with narcissism, overcoming abuse & trauma, and self-love. Contact me @ Blog: carriewynn.com Instagram: carrie_wynnmusings

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