Relationships Often Run Their Course

Carrie Wynn

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From my experience, a relationship doesn’t just end out of the blue.

Instead, it’s a slow burn over the course of months or even years.

If I were to go back in time I would be able to pinpoint the time when things started going in a negative direction in every single relationship that I’ve had that’s ended… which is technically all of them.

Let me clarify one thing before jumping into this… I am well aware that relationships are always going to have rocky times.

However, there is a difference between “rocky times” and a relationship that is getting to the point where both parties are unwilling to acknowledge the reality of the situation.

There are usually subtle signs that we try to overlook when a relationship is nearing it’s end.

#1. You avoid going home to them

I was in a relationship where a friend was about to drop me off at the apartment I shared with my boyfriend at the time and I actually broke down crying because I didn’t want to walk through the doors.

Although my example is extreme, there are other signs that you may subconsciously not want to go home to your partner.

If you are constantly making plans to be elsewhere and spending all of your time with friends it raises a question.

Why don’t you ever want to come home to your relationship?

#2. The two of you are never alone

What’s the best way to avoid recognizing that your relationship is broken?

Constant distractions.

Near the end of my relationships, I always notice a trend where we are always going out with friends.

There are no more solo date nights because doing so would mean that we would be completely alone, staring at each other, with the unspoken words of built-up resentment laying between us.

If you realize that you and your partner haven’t really spent time alone in weeks.. ask yourself why.

#3. Intimacy has got a little stale

A relationship won't be fireworks all of the time, but I also think that most of us think that at the end of a relationship the couple isn’t intimate anymore when that simply isn’t true.

My relationships didn’t end with us not connecting, anymore it was more about the fact that the way we connected changed and not for the better.

I constantly found my mind wandering and realized that the chemistry I had once shared with my partner was gone and it didn’t seem to be coming back no matter what we did.

You can work on a lot of things but chemistry is one of the hardest things to get back once it’s gone.

#4. Silence is the new normal

Being able to sit in comfortable silence is important in a relationship as you can’t be constantly talking, but that’s not sustainable.

I remember going out to dinner with a boyfriend shortly before we broke up and realizing that I didn’t want to talk to him. I didn’t have anything to say and for me, it was completely out of character.

However, looking back it completely makes sense.

When you are losing interest in someone you often have nothing to say to them because emotionally you aren’t feeling the connection you used to.

#5. You are attracted to other people

It is natural to be attracted to other people even if you are completely happy in a monogamous relationship. If someone were to tell me that they are only attracted to their partner I would raise an eyebrow.

However, If you are constantly yearning for physical affection then you are most likely not getting the amount that you need in your relationship.

If you realize that you are starting to notice other people, and daydreaming about pursuing them then you need to take a hard look at why you are feeling this way.

Is your partner providing affection and meeting your physical needs… or not?

#6. You don’t know if it’s worth saving

I think this is the most important thing to reflect on.

Throughout my life, I have always fought for the people I love. I often fight beyond what I should because I don’t want to give up.

It is when that fight starts to leave me that I know a relationship is ending.

When you love someone, you are going to fight for them to the best of your ability, but there comes a point where you have to throw in the towel for the sake of your emotional health.

Trying to force a relationship to work that has run its course isn’t healthy and it is most likely still going to end at one point or another.

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I am a writer & relationship consultant that primarily deals with narcissism, overcoming abuse & trauma, and self-love. Contact me @ Blog: carriewynn.com Instagram: carrie_wynnmusings

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