It’s important to know when you have been around someone that has attempted to use emotional manipulation on you.
The most common reason that this happens is that we are unaware of what is happening around us.
It is naive to believe that everyone has your best interests in mind. It is not true. Some people will try to get you to do exactly what they want and when you start building boundaries, your relationship will change.
You have to realize that if someone is hurt by you saying “no” it is because you have bruised their ego.
Emotional manipulators aren’t used to not getting what they want and they don’t understand why you are suddenly trying to put up boundaries when you hadn’t in the past.
Here are some of the tactics they will use and what you need to accept in order to protect yourself.
Prepare yourself for the guilt and blame.
One of the best ways to know if someone is wanting to emotionally manipulate you is paying attention to their initial reaction to your “no.”
For example, I have a friend that told her friend that she couldn’t go to a yoga class the following morning because she had come down with the flu the night before.
The response she was met with was a complete temper tantrum. Her friend told her that she ruined her plans, that she couldn’t believe she was bailing, and that she had prevented her from going due to her selfishness.
Emotional manipulators don’t care about how you are feeling because they simply want to get their way.
Accept that they can be close connections.
Just because someone is a person that you consider a friend doesn’t mean that they won’t do whatever it takes to get what they want out of you.
When someone knows us inside and out is it much easier for them to use our vulnerabilities against us.
If your friend or partner is attempting to control what you are thinking and how you feel it is because they want to manipulate the situation. This is all done for their own gain at the expense of yours.
Pay attention to how you feel.
What are you feeling when you enforce boundaries and tell someone no to their request of you?
If you feel like you are being threatened or are receiving backlash you need to take a step back.
Someone that cares about you is never going to threaten you. They are going to respect your boundaries instead of being intimidated or upset that you are enforcing them.
Remember that they are selfish.
It’s very hard to accept that someone we love or could admire is taking advantage of us.
However. becoming aware of this is one of the most important things you will do in your adult life.
Being naive and ignorant is a great way to allow people to walk all over us and take advantage of our kind nature.
Recognize the signs and remember that the more you create boundaries, the healthier your relationship will become with yourself and the people that truly deserve to be in your life.