Recently I was observing a couple that I know through a mutual friend. They fight almost every single weekend to the point of threatening to break up with each other. They fight, makeup, fight again, and everyone is privy to their dirty laundry.
Another time I was hanging out with a group of friends when one of the girls pulled me aside. She lamented that she knows deep down her current boyfriend isn’t right for her but she isn’t ready to end things because they get along well.
Yet both of these couples also talk about marriage and their futures together. Even though they don’t mesh well and everyone else knows it… they don’t want to let go.
I have certainly been in their shoes before. I have stayed too long in a relationship with a person that wasn’t right for me.
Signs that your relationship may not be meant for happily ever after
You feel like something is missing
As humans, we are so good at lying to ourselves and pretending to the point where we almost believe our own falsehoods.
Often we go through our lives in an almost “fog.” It gets to the point where we are complacent in our jobs, friendships, and relationships because it’s just easier than admitting that deep down we are unhappy.
If there is a lack of fulfillment in the emotional or physical department of your relationship you are not going to get your needs met in a way that is sustainable long-term.
Happy hour turns into a complaining hour
It’s healthy to vent at times. It would be very difficult to go through our lives without saying something somewhat negative about our relationship because it’s a huge part of our lives and nothing is perfect.
However, have you ever gotten to a point where everything that comes out of your mouth about your partner is completely negative?
Resentment builds quickly and if you feel this way you need to identify where these words and thoughts are stemming from.
That all-telling feeling is in your gut
When someone is in a relationship that they know is wrong, I truly believe that deep down they know something is off.
How many times have you looked back at your past relationships and realized after the fact how unhappy you truly were?
The trouble is that people are so good at suppressing their thoughts and feelings it can be simple to push the negative emotions away, especially in the honeymoon phase of a relationship.
They would be better if they just…
Your partner would be the perfect person if they were just a little better and could improve their personality, habits, looks…
Stop for a second. Why on earth should your partner constantly be expected to live up to your expectations? Yes, growth is important in a relationship but why should they change who they are?
Take a step back. If you want to change almost everything about your partner, you are dating an idea, not the person that they really are.
Opposite’s attract…or do they?
Do you need to have everything in common with your significant other? Absolutely not.
But there is another end of the spectrum. If you don’t have any of the same interests when it comes to food, movies, music, travel, activities, etc, it’s going to be extremely difficult to cultivate a strong and healthy life together.
Identify common ground with your partner. If you can’t, it’s going to be very hard, if not impossible, to maintain a life together.
You can’t find enough reasons to stay
This is the point I want to end on.
Relationships are going to ebb and flow. It’s the natural order of things.
But a relationship withers when you don’t even know why you’re with the person and are constantly unsatisfied and unhappy.
It’s completely okay to move on and to be honest with your feelings. Remember that not everyone is going to be right for each other. That doesn’t mean that it’s your fault or your significant other’s fault.
It just means that you aren’t compatible and there is someone else out there that is a better match.