Perhaps you didn’t know you were dating a narcissist, or perhaps you did realize it and didn’t want to say anything at first.
Regardless, once you come to the conclusion that they are a narcissist you may be tempted to call them out on it.
This is never going to be received well because they are not going to want to hear what you have to say.
In almost every case they are going to turn it around on you. They are going to say that you’re the problem in the relationship.
They will gaslight you and they will manipulate you and by the time they’re done your head is going to be spinning
Here are the reasons why there is nothing to gain by calling a narcissist out.
They don’t care.
They haven’t listened to you or cared about your opinion about anything since the relationship began.
There is no reason that there would be a shift in this behavior now just because you’ve come to the realization of who they truly are.
You could call them out but you must prepare yourself for the reality that they will most likely not change and it could make things even worse for you.
They could hurt you.
Someone who knows your greatest weaknesses and trigger points is going to be ready to take you down.
You may think that you are ready to challenge them but they are going to know what will hurt you the most. They will know how to make you vulnerable and how to tear you down.
Also, in some cases calling them out will make them so angry they could very well become physical. Take caution in your surroundings if you do decide to call them out, perhaps by ensuring you are in a public place.
You cannot hope they will change.
Now, I am not saying there is absolutely no likelihood of change. There have been narcissists that recognize it in themselves and have strived to become more empathetic and to treat others better.
However, this requires them to actually want to change and to work on themselves.
Holding on to the hope that someday they will treat you better isn’t fair. You can ask them to go to therapy, and they may offer you what you want to hear but that doesn’t hold much weight.