Perhaps things have gotten too difficult. Perhaps you have learned to see through their tricks and have become aware of their deception. Perhaps you have called out their behavior and drawn a line saying that you aren’t going to tolerate it anymore.
Whatever it is, the narcissist has realized that you are starting to see through their mask. You aren’t going to be enough for them anymore. They need someone with no boundaries. They need someone that is a better source of “supply” for their needs, that won’t challenge them or be an annoyance.
Why has it come down to this? There are a few reasons…
They have drained you completely.
Your radiance has been sucked out. Perhaps financially they have taken you for everything you have. Because of the emotional and physical pain, they’ve inflicted on you, your physical appearance may not be the same as it was when they met you.
The light that drew them to you in the first place has been completely put out and they know you aren’t going to have much left to give. They wanted to destroy you and they managed to do just that. You are a shell of the person that you used to be and they no longer have any use for you.
They seem bored.
When they’re with you it’s almost as if they don’t see you anymore. They’re constantly on their phones, watching TV, and they surround themselves with distractions.
They are no longer invested in parts of your life that they used to be and they don’t ask you questions about how you’re doing or how your day was. What used to be stonewalling and the silent treatment when you “misbehaved in their eyes” is now so much the norm that you can barely remember a time before things were this way.
You see through their mask.
You’ve seen through the act or called out their behavior and the narcissist is now exposed. They need to find a new source of supply as soon as possible because you aren’t going to cut it anymore.
Thus begins their disappearing act. Hours or days will go by at a time with no communication. They may be out late at night partying without feeling any need to inform you of where they’ve been.
Their clothes smell like someone else and you suspect that they are dating other people or have returned to an ex. They may also say they’re taking time “to think” when in reality, they are seeing if their new source of supply offers enough to drop you completely.
The final blow
Often they will throw a final devaluing statement to have the last word and leave you in ruins, broken beyond repair.
I remember mine like it happened yesterday. I was bawling in my room and my ex stood in the doorway. He was completely cold, with no emotion on his face or his voice. The last thing he ever said to me in person was:
“I know you really tried your best but it wasn’t good enough and you don’t deserve me.”
They may come back… you can’t let them.
Just because you have been discarded doesn’t mean that the narcissist won’t return.
They may realize that their new girlfriend/boyfriend isn’t meeting all their needs. They may need a favor from you. The whole cycle can start again if they discard you and decide to come back.
It doesn’t matter if you end things or if you have been discarded. You have to cut them out of your life. If they discard you and never come back it may be the most painful thing you have ever experienced but it is the kindest thing that they could ever do for you.