Narcissists Hide Under A Mask

Carrie Wynn

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I reflect on the night that would be one of the scariest of my entire life.

The evening started out absolutely perfectly. One of my best friends had gotten married from my childhood. A group of us danced for hours, drinking wine and laughing.

The Downfall

When we got back to my Dad’s house, my ex decided to pick a fight with him. As they stood outside yelling at each other in the driveway, I sobbed hysterically begging them to stop. My Dad told me that he was disgusted by who I was dating, that he was a drunkard, and he would never approve of our relationship. He stormed back into his house, and I was presented with a choice: My ex said that if I didn’t leave now I would always be controlled by my Dad. I wasn’t in a good state of mind, we had been drinking for hours, and I was exhausted and confused.

I made a decision that could have been my last one.

I decided to get in the car with my ex.

Instantly, I could tell that he shouldn’t have been driving. He kept swerving, and I remembered that he had probably drank 2–3 bottles of wine over the course of the evening. It was over a two-hour drive to his apartment from my Dad’s house, and even though it was 2:00 in the morning, there were almost no cars on the road…I had no idea how he would make it.

Suddenly, There Were Flashing Lights in Our Rearview Mirror.

All I felt was complete relief. I was so scared. He never should have been driving. We still had an hour and a half to go, and the roads were about to start winding down the canyon. I knew how suspicious we looked, after all, it was the middle of the night, and we were in wedding guest attire. There was no way that we were going to get away with it, we reeked of booze.

“Don’t say a word.” He hissed at me.

The cop came up the window and asked for my ex’s ID and registration. He was driving my car but that didn’t cause a hitch. I waited for them to ask him to step out of the car. I waited for them to turn him around and put him in handcuffs. I wanted him to get caught, because why should he get away with this? He was so judgemental of anyone with a DUI…but finally, he would get one for the hundreds of nights he drove under some sort of influence.

He wasn’t asked to get out of the car.
They cleared his license
The cops drove away.
And he drove us all the way home.

There has never been another time in my life when I was so sure that I was going to die.

He didn’t care that our lives were in danger. He whipped around each corner as I gripped to the sides of the car. I didn’t say a single word the entire drive and kept closing my eyes because I was so terrified. In my mind's eye, I kept seeing him missing a turn and driving through a cattleguard straight off a cliff.

Beating The Odds

We made it home and against all odds we were completely fine.

My relationship with my father was extremely awkward after that. He sent out an email to all of his friends and family asking them to pray for me because I was “dating a satanist and was in his clutches.”

Although I don’t think that my ex was a satanist, the rest of his message was true. I was completely ensnared in his manipulation and lies .I was dating someone that claimed to love me…but didn’t care if he put my life in danger, or if I got hurt.

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I am a writer & relationship consultant that primarily deals with narcissism, overcoming abuse & trauma, and self-love. Contact me @ Blog: carriewynn.com Instagram: carrie_wynnmusings

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