Ventura, CA

She. A Free Verse Poem.

Brooklyn Muse

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She found herself alone on the sandy beach after the 3-hour drive south. Ventura California was not at all what she remembered. When she left her fiance in San Diego one month prior, Ventura held fond memories for her. Their romance began on this Ventura beach and ended on the same granules of grit.

“What are you reading?” was his initial come-on line back in July 2020. “All the Birds in the Sky — a science fantasy novel” she replied. The author Charlie Jane Anders intrigued her on more than one occasion. “ I like birds” he laughed. And so it began. The conversation, laughter, walk, swim, coffee…Then Instagram, meet-ups, wine, and breakfasts- you get the idea. 

Romance is an unusual occurrence in this day and age. With social media, texts, Insta, Snap, and Face-to-Face internet it seems some basic elements of deep interaction are clearly missing. People seem to “give up” on relationships much more frequently, sort of like the disposal of the past. She always “held on” to friendships, relationships, and even old worn-out Levis. She was a keeper of symphonies in her mind of what “should be”. The reality of “mosh pit” relationships with grunge and slime just wasn’t her style. She was a lone star amid the mud of the earth. 

His persona was one of a chameleon. The nature of his being was to “fit into” the scenarios of others’ lives. Her realization of this came after 2 years of observation, love, lust, and a carousel of just simple fun. He literally “became” whatever situation he was poured into. If in a room of democratic debate — his views were social/ liberal/ progressive. If in a room of republican co-workers, his views were conservative. 

It wasn’t just evident in politics. Art, clothing, diet, exercise — it was evident he could not make any decision. He was the kindest of souls yet, his cloak changed as quickly as honey melts into hot tea. There was no authentic being within his physical persona. He had never “found himself” and was completely lost. He was whoever was in the room- any room. 

He was so incredibly easy to get along with, she disregarded her notions. She initially thought he was just trying to gain friends and not be confrontational on any issue. As she became more focused, she noticed more. Romance clouds perception. The sunshine gradually shines through if you look for its heat and warm embrace. 

His ADD personality oddly complimented her relaxed vibe. The red flags were there all along, but transparent within the laughter, adventure, and great sex. Freestyle versus Type A. Frye boots versus Oxfords. Authentic being versus Who Knows. She could no longer disregard the evidence before her eyes. 

Relationships thrive on growth and sometimes even with intense diversity. The caveat emptor here is clearly one of simply being one’s authentic self, whatever that is for the individual. Secure/ solid. That never means we are not growing and accepting other viewpoints. It means we have some substance of our own to offer in any relationship. 

We offer individual gifts in our interactions with others on a daily basis. Those gifts we offer are ours alone- unique to us. Isn’t that the purpose of a relationship? Friendships. lovers. marriage, coworkers- Isn’t the basis the same? 

The development of our individual personas is ever-changing for sure. There are, however, earthly foundations that a solid communion of souls adheres to for any substance of a relationship to exist. 

Find yourself first. Just Be. It really is that simple. 

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M.Ed specializing in teaching and curriculum, educator. writer. editor. photographer. dreamer. designer. treasure hunter. mountains. beach. city. all images ©️ Brooklyn Muse

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