I've finally met “The One.” Although all told, I don’t actually believe that there is only one person out there for each of us.
However, I definitely believe that certain people get us. A small subset of the population has the chemistry, the background, and the complementary personality that makes your soul take a deep breath and sigh, “yes, this one.”
When you’ve met that 1 in a Million person, it makes every relationship before seem like you were practicing—the rehearsal before the big opening night.
There is a subtle but all-encompassing tell-tale sign. The way that you know they are the person you don’t want to live without. It’s not always conventional, but it’s always got the same underlying theme.
The difference is in the way they love you.
They Accept Your Flaws and Help You Overcome Them
Constant improvement is a good thing. If your partner helps you improve yourself in a supporting way, you’ve got a winner.
An important note here is that you have to want to change. You cannot endlessly try to change people and call that love — that’s toxicity. However, if you’ve mentioned to a partner that you have an area of your life that you’re working on and they remember it, that’s love. If they make an effort to support it, that’s true love.
For instance, I want to add more exercise into my life — but I am a very forgetful, busy, and dare I say lazy person. My partner gives me gentle reminders like, “I’m going to do some yoga, would you like to join me?” or “Would you like me to wake you up when I get up tomorrow so that you can squeeze in a workout?”.
If I sleepily tell him to eff off and that I don't want to go on a run today, well, he accepts me for who I am. Although he does on occasion tempt me with fresh coffee.
The key here is that I know he’s looking out for me, not commenting on my body image or weight. I’m forgetful and grumpy; he is meticulous and patient.
He uses his strengths to help me improve my life when I ask for help.
They Hold Your Hair Back When You Puke — and Still Think You’re Sexy.
No, not like at the same time.
This one has an amusing story — while in Mexico, my boyfriend gave me food poisoning. He tried his hand at making ceviche in our Airbnb one night, and it did not go well. Come 5 am the next day, and guess who was holding my hair back while I thew up?
Yeah, my man. What a guy.
He also got sick, but I got it much worse. During that time, he went to the store to get ingredients for soup. He made sure I stayed hydrated when I was violently ill for two straight days. He literally toweled off my forehead while I cried on the bathroom floor, sweaty and gross and feeling like I was dying.
Let’s face it; I needed some time to feel like myself again after that horrifying incident. However, we did get back to a more physical relationship soon.
I have heard some people say that after a disgusting incident like that one, it’s hard to find someone attractive. Truly, no one finds you sexy while you’re mid-fever, dehydrated as hell, with fluids coming out of wherever. Nor should they.
Gross stuff happens though. It just does. As they say in Spanish — así es la vida. Such is life. Your life partner will have to deal with that, and move on.
The One for you will absolutely be able to get past the gross stuff and maintain a healthy relationship regardless.