Befriending an innocent coworker is one way that a serial cheater catches his next victim

Bella Smith

*This is a nonfiction piece based on true events as described to me by a friend who witnessed them directly; permission was granted to use them.*

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There is no question that the subject of a spouse cheating on his wife may be a very sensitive one.

It's not always about a nefarious vixen whose sole goal is to seduce another woman's man and take him away from her. Most of the time, it is a smart and practical woman who ends up falling for a man who is extremely skilled in the art of manipulation and deception.

A smart woman who had no intention of being with a married guy at any point in her life can be seduced by a married man who has a history of cheating on his wife in covert and cunning ways.

In the beginning, these men are typically nice, charming, and give off the impression that they are not a threat.

They may begin by engaging in meaningless chatter, and some of them may openly discuss their wives and families as if they were beaming with the satisfaction that comes from being a happily married man. This kind of light conversation isn't likely to cause you to give it much thought, regardless of whether you're a single woman or a woman in a committed relationship.

This kind of interaction takes place in the office rather frequently, but it is not exclusive to that environment; it can take place in other situations as well.

Complimenting their intended target lavishly, being there for them when they need someone to lean on, or even going so far as to bring them presents are common behaviors displayed by married men who cheat on their partners on multiple occasions. They will, at some point, figure out how to get a phone number, converse online, or locate some other method that will enable them to connect on a consistent basis.

It doesn't matter to this kind of guy if the woman is married, in a relationship, or single—most of the time, none of those statuses affects his interest in her. However, there are married men who are looking to aggressively control just one woman as their mistress. These men will choose a single woman as their mistress because it will be easier for them to isolate her from her family and friends in this situation.

My friend, Margareth, who became associated with this person was, in point of fact, a cheater who committed multiple affairs. At the time, she was recouping from her recent divorce and living on her own. She did not learn about his numerous affairs until after they had engaged in more conversation with one another. After a number of conversations, he was really forthright about it. She would even go as far as to imply that he had normalized his behavior as if it were something that everyone did.

When a man of this sort begins to confide in you about how unhappy they claim to be in their marriage, this is the moment that really puts the nail in the coffin. They will begin to complain about their partner in a manner that gives you the impression that they are on the verge of getting a legal separation or divorce.

A significant number of men will admit that their attraction to their partner has diminished, implying that they are lacking in the field of romance in some fashion.

One of the most common tactics a married man who cheats will use is to lie about their current living situation.

They might even go as far as saying the divorce papers are almost ready to be signed. This is not the case the vast majority of the time, and the vast majority of the time, they are still sleeping in the same bed as their spouse.

Sadly, if a woman becomes deeply involved with someone — even if it is with someone who is already married — there is a good chance that she will start falling in love with that person and will believe pretty much any lie that is given to her.

Margareth got involved with a person who turned out to be possessive, envious, and manipulative. Despite the fact that he had several indiscretions, he was adamant that neither of them should date anyone else outside of their relationship. Although it may sound absurd, a significant number of women fall victim to this trick.

It is not a good place to be if you find yourself in a relationship that is genuinely complicated and stressful, and there is no easy way to separate yourself from this situation. In a very short amount of time, feelings associated with a relationship might go from passion to anxiety. It's not worth your time or effort virtually never.

The devastation caused by an affair can linger for a person's entire life. In the vast majority of cases, married men who engage in frequent infidelity never intend to divorce their partners in any capacity. Simply said, they want everything - at everyone else’s expense.

She couldn't undo what had happened in the past, but she hoped that what she had learnt from her experieces could help someone else in the same circumstance.

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Bella Smith is a Psychology & Human Behaviour enthusiast. She is a freelance writer and has had her written pieces published on a few Wikis and popular sites. People connect with her because of the way she writes, her thoughts and her stories.

New York, NY
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