Don't cheat if you're unhappy, just leave." - Unknown.
I'm a good woman. And I cheated on my honeymoon and caught my husband cheating on our anniversary with the same person.
Is cheating a good idea?
My name is Serena, and my life as a good woman is messy. My marriage became complicated with unresolved baggage from my ex-husband and me. My truth is good women are not saints; they cheat too.
Before I tell you my story, let's learn a little about a good woman.
Who is a good woman?
The definition varies based on our experiences - politics, religion, education, culture, and family. Come up with your description, and feel free to use it.
The painful truth we need to know is good women are not saints; they lust too. Good women are human beings prone to make mistakes, and they are experts in covering evidence.
Too often, they do not get caught because they are masters in wrapping top secrets in their minds. I think most good women take their secrets with them to the grave.
Good women who cheat never let the cat out of the bag - they never reveal their secret to anyone, including their twins, best friend, or mother.
To make things better, society gives us the benefit of the doubt and puts us on a pedestal. True, women tend to be faithful.
Hold your peace; good women can cheat on their twins, best friends, spouses, etc.
Men who cheat get caught more often because they are careless. I am a woman who can efficiently multitask, and the men I know rarely do two things simultaneously.
My name is Serena, a good woman, and here is my story.
In 2018 I married Jacob. He was thirty-four, and I was thirty-five. We met in a Whole Foods store in Cambridge, MA. We both came from different states to MA for a one-year business fellowship.
He came from a religious household and did not believe in pre-marital sex. His father is a leader in the organization, and the organization's culture forbids sex outside of marriage.
It was our first marriage, and we did not have any serious relationship before we met each other. I am a good woman and do not believe in having many partners. I dated only one man before I met Jacob.
While dating Jacob for about two years, we lived in different cities. After marriage, Jocob moved part of his business close to my city, Boulder, CO. He commuted an hour by train, which worked for us.
My location was where we wanted to raise our kids. The city has functioning schools, Libraries, close to airports, Museums, Zoos, and fantastic public parks and walking trails. Also, a celebrity lived a block from our home.
We went on our honeymoon to South Africa and had a blast doing things outside, but the inside activity was awful.
On our fifth day, I went out for early lunch without Jacob, and I met a young man, Sunny, with a boyish look in the cafe. He was attractive and bold.
We enjoyed a friendly conversation about soccer, literature, and international politics. Sunny seemed brilliant. Later he told me he was a Chef in our hotel and was off that day.
I told him to stop by my room the next day because my husband was returning to the US.
My father-in-law fell ill and had breast cancer. Yes, men have breast cancer too.
The life-changing illness.
Our honeymoon was interrupted, and I supported my husband in going to his dad. I would do the same if my dad fell ill.
Second, after four nights of struggling with Jacob, I was tired of him. Nine more nights - nope. I hoped he did not come back. I thought, "Maybe I cannot leave, but I am going back to our home."
What is the problem?
"Don't cheat if you're unhappy, just leave." - Unknown.
My husband departed for the state, and my new friend, Chef Sunny, joined me in the evening.
We talked through midnight, and he wanted to leave, but I invited him to stay overnight. He was cautioned and stressed, "In my culture, a person who sleep with someone's wife is a dead man."
I laughed, and then we laughed until we fell on each other. Sunny visited me for two more nights, and I was thrilled about his company.
I told my husband that I was returning to the state. Terrible, my father-in-law had stage two breast cancer.
I spoke with my mom, and she suggested I return to the US as soon as possible. I made up my mind before my mother's advice. I chose not to discuss our problem with her; it was too early to bring mom into my marriage.
I believe she would be angrier than me.
I returned to the US, and my husband was deeply sorry for what happened and said we could return to South Africa for our anniversary. I was so happy we would go back and, hopefully, I would meet my lover again.
The good news is my FIL's health improved beyond our imagination. Thanks to his faith, world-class medical service, and the power of money and influence.
We continued to struggle in the bedroom, but I hoped things would improve. It was too early to seek advice or have an honest discussion with him.
Sex in marriage is a complex and sensitive issue for men and women. The hard truth is women do not want to lose their breasts. Men prefer to die than to live without their manhood.
But we had to discuss it and seek help, or we were getting a divorce. I was too young to live in an unhappy marriage.
Sure, we could adopt children if we wanted, but going outside the marriage for sex is not what anyone signed up for in a marriage.
How we arrived here
It is my responsibility and fault for what happened in my marriage. In our pre-marriage counseling session, I remember our counselor asking why we did not engage in sex before marriage.
Jacob took the lead on his value - no sex before marriage. He held onto his faith, which was okay by me. Jacob's explanation did not sit well with the counselor, but she moved on.
At that time, I admired a man who stuck to his principles. When I visited his family home, his mother prepared him a guest room while I slept in his old room.
During our two years of dating, we slept in different rooms when we visited our parents, and we rarely spent a night in each other's apartment. My parents were shocked but happy that he was a serious young man.
Now, I understand why our pre-marriage counselor firmly probed Jacob with intrusive questions without my support. It seemed she knew what I did not know or wanted to know.
Poor me, I tried to make sense of our problem. After cheating with Sunny, I can't stop thinking about him.
To be continued.
This story is a work of fiction and was first published on another website.
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