Fiction Series: The theater of friendship and true love

Bassey BY
"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." -- Walter Winchell.

Serwa's story part II: I found a friend and a helper, the secret of two friends and hope. Our loyalty and love trump everything.

Two Friends: Serwa and Paris

My friend, Paris, had three children within three years of marriage and continued to do well in her business with pharmaceutical companies in OK, NY, and FL. She traveled often and made a decent income. I watched her children during the summer, and I still do.

I got married at thirty-one, and two years later, I discovered I could not have children. My husband and I talked about having children, but after doctors informed me of my medical condition, darkness fell in our household.

After two years, I did not believe my marriage would survive.

Infertility and family problems

I was in big trouble because of infertility. I had issues from all directions, especially with my perfect in-laws.

My husband, Jordan, and his family were vicious and attacked me by any means they had. My sister-in-law, Ruth, was a terror. She was jealous of me because her husband beat her non-stop, and he lost his corporate job because of drug addiction. Sadly, Ruth struggled with a jobless, sick husband, seven children, and a bad attitude.

Sometimes, my husband's passive-aggressive behavior was so bad that I spent time with my sister and her family or attended a week of meditation in CA.

My husband took direction from his family and made unnecessary comments about our childless marriage. I could not conceive, and the blame was on me, but they were not God.

My secret life

One Saturday night, I summed up my courage and told Paris the details of my infertility and my secret marriage life. Why have a secret with a true friend? We all have secrets, and it is okay if it does not affect our mental health.

She listened and said, "Tell me what you want and how we will do it. As you know, I had an abortion last year, and it escaped my memory that I could have given you the child."

Me: "I thought about that but did not want to put you through carrying another pregnancy after three."

She suggested, "Talk to Jordan about adoption again, and I can help with that."

My husband is a traditionalist and did not want anything to do with adoption. He was mad anytime I mentioned the discussion. Paris knew about Jordan's problem with adoption, and she suggested I tell him my plan.

Unexpected divorce

One weekend after dinner, I told Jordan about my plan to adopt a child. He got furious and shamed me with his words and actions. I was in agony. My husband threatened to file for divorce if I chose to adopt. In a heated debate, I told him to go ahead. To my surprise, he did. I was shocked.

I was devastated and felt destroyed by the man I loved.

Did Jordan love me? I don't know. I saw the red flag from day one of our courtship, but I chose to be his wife. My truth is that there is always a red flag in all harmful or toxic relationships.

The first time I met her sister, Ruth, she insulted me, and my then-boyfriend defended her. Jordan lectured, "Wow, you are too sensitive. You've to learn our family jokes."

You get the point.

Pay attention to any red flags in your relationship, and don't hope things will change for the better. Unfortunately, people rarely change their core values, such as nasty behavior.

I found a friend and a helper.

Paris helped me find an apartment and shop for furniture. After a few weeks, she visited me with her mom. She was in my apartment to assist me and encouraged me to focus on getting the leadership certificate to help me get into the school administrative position. Her mother promised to help me get an administrative job in the city.

I settled in my new apartment and kept my work going. My brother and mother helped with my work and shopping.

I worked hard for one of the dark experiences in my life but was determined to adopt a child as I had planned all along.

Paris returned to my apartment one early Saturday morning and told me she had filed for divorce and asked Peter to leave their home by the end of the month. She added, "I'm moving to my parents until Peter moves out."

I was not shocked but surprised that it was so soon. We talked, gossiped, cooked, and played games. I observed my friend handling her marriage problems better than mine.

Casually she said, "I'll give you a child." I was stunned, or maybe I passed out.

We sat in silence.

I asked, "How? Are you giving me one of your children?"

She smiled and responded, "Peter's children! He will never sign the papers, and I hope he signs the divorce paper. Thank God I listened to my mom and had a prenuptial agreement."

Yes. Peter is a good family man who struggles with video game addiction and refuses to seek help. The video game was more important than his job. Sad!

Fertility treatment

Paris told me to look for a sperm donor before giving me the numbers to call to find more information.

I researched for more information about fertility treatments ---doctors, and facilities and had an interview with a few people for suggestions and advice.

Within three months, we were ready to start fertility treatment. We agreed on a fine reputable fertility clinic and doctor. My health insurance covered most of the treatment, and that helped.

My friend, at thirty-six, was healthy and ready to go.

Part III continues next week. Thank you for being here.

References:

https://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/infertility/index.htm#:~:text=What%20is%20infertility%3F,6%20months%20of%20unprotected%20sex.

https://www.whattoexpect.com/getting-pregnant/fertility-tests-and-treatments/top-fertility-treatments/

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