Writers Wear Capes and Spandex

[Bad] Ideas | Scriptdog


This will be the battle of your life

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Imagine you’re the star of a movie based on your life. And maybe it’s not a movie, but it’s real. Okay, basically, I’m asking you to imagine that you’re in your own life, which is like, duh.

Moving on.

Now, imagine that you’re not only the star of your own life, but you are the hero/heroine. You’re the good gal/guy. Okay, for some of you this might also be duh, but not all of us see ourselves as the heroes of our own lives. Some of us are our own enemies. With me so far?

Not so “duh” anymore is it?

Today though, you are the hero.

And for you to be the hero, there needs to be a villain.

There is no good without evil, no light without dark, no burp without carbonation.
-Zen 101

The better the villain, the better the movie. Even if that movie is your life.

There are some pretty heavy-duty villains out there: Despots, Dictators, Bullies, Soup Nazis (keeping the Seinfeld reference-per-essay streak alive for those playing along), Godzillas, Wicked Witches, Evil Queens and Jokers!

There’s Darth Vader! Hannibal Lecter! The Terminator!

Nurse Ratched!


Let’s call your movie A Writer’s Life’s Quest’s for __________________ [Insert whatever it is you want here, e.g. Immortality, Fame, Fortune, World Peace, World Prosperity, a really good Peking Duck, whatever you’re after.]

In your movie, the villain is played by…

Drum roll please…

…a Blank Sheet of Paper.

(Empty Screen with Blinking Cursor just doesn’t have the same ring to it).


You need to stop the Blank Page from blowing up the world, robbing a bank, killing your dog, or worse! The blank page is wicked and knows no moral boundaries. The blank page is hungry and will stop at nothing. (Technically, the blank page is already nothing, but work with me here.)

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How will our hero (that’s you!) vanquish this all-powerful enemy?

The longer you wait to do battle, the stronger your enemy becomes. Any delay makes your odds even more daunting. Wait too long and you will be rendered moot for being mute. (Too cute?) -that rhymes. :)

You have been trained for this mission, you have the inner strength to carry forward, you are ready for the confrontation.

You must defeat the Blank Page, survival hangs in the balance.

Your enemy is more evil than any WMD, any nuclear attack, any virus or pox.


Your enemy knows your heart, your secrets, your weaknesses.

You have no army behind you, no futuristic technology, no enemy-of-their-enemy with whom to align. This is all you, baby.

You are Indiana Jones, you are Batman, you are Tarzan, Spartacus, James Bond!

This is your time for glory, your time to shine.


Dig deep:

find your inner strength,
find your fortitude,
find your pen.

Use it to make a mark.

If it’s a blank screen, take even the tiniest of your fingers and just go doink on a little-lettered plastic square.

In one stroke, you have defeated your mortal enemy.

You have reigned supreme.

You have won this battle on this day at this moment and will be celebrated as the victor in your Writer’s Life’s Quest for all you value and hold dear.

Ta da.

See- wasn’t so bad.

No cape, no spandex, just a little doink is all you need to overcome the villainous blank page.

Write and the rest will follow.

If only all our enemies were blank pages.
What a wonderful world this would be.

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Writer, Director, Producer of TV, Film and Stand-Up Comedy Tours in the MENA region and Asia. Writer's Guild, Director's Guild and Producer's Guild member. WARNING: Microdosing content will shift paradigm.

West Hollywood, CA

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