[Satire] Five Bad Ideas for TV Shows

[Bad] Ideas | Scriptdog

ATTN: Netflix, Amazon, Hulu, Apple TV, Disney+ and HBO Max: This post’s for you

(NOT) Coming Soon to a screen near you:

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Gun Hands, the Reality Series Never Coming AnywhereWikimedia Commons

These days I’ve been a bit of a nomad, hitting a slew of countries, mostly for comedy shows we produce… I’m behind the scenes, no way am I going on stage.

When people find out I‘m also involved in TV and films, they love to pitch. These ideas were kindly shared with me, so I’m kindly sharing them with you. You’re welcome. 😘 🎟 🎬

Gun Hands

-Simon, Taxi Driver in Bangkok

It’s about this small town where everyone who lives there has guns permanently attached to one of their hands. They can aim and fire at anyone anytime.
It’s a reality series.
It’s not a Western. It’s like an average small town, just normal. Except for the Gun Hands.
They can’t remove them, ever, so they have to be waterproof. And, they are always loaded. Think about it, it changes everything.
It makes it fun to watch, people having to learn to cook with one hand, drive cars, garden, make love. You know how people like to flip the middle finger?
Well, in this town, you flip people off with a bullet.
We can have an exception for doctors, but that’s it. Probably, doctors need both hands to operate good.
It’s what the world thinks already. Everyone has a gun, why not make it entertaining.
Make your weakness your strength America.
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Insert your family hereUnsplash

Trapped on a Couch

-Maryann, My Mom, Michigan

How long can you survive on a couch with your entire family? Winner is the last one sitting.

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Dangerous Sleeping - A sport and TV seriesWikimedia Commons

Dangerous Sleeping

-Bonnie, Hair Cutter, Singapore

It’s a new sport where people sleep next to broken glass and sharp objects that would enter them if they moved during sleep. It’s the art of sleeping still. If you move or flip over you will fatally hurt yourself.
Or they could be on the edge of a cliff, the middle of a road, the beam of a high rise under construction.
It’s like where do you fall when you fall asleep?
I was thinking about this because I can fall asleep anywhere. I mean anywhere.
What if we put them standing up in the middle of a busy intersection.
Could you sleep there? I could.
The winner is who wakes up last with the least injuries.
We monitor their sleeping, too. They have equipment attached to them which shows us at home that they are in a deep sleep, REM, whatever the cycle is. So we know they aren’t faking.
This is like taking the most boring thing ever to watch, people sleeping, yeah, right, and turning it into a high octane sport. A sport where if nothing happens, you win!
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Senior LoveUnsplash

The Widower

-Ray O. Entrepreneur, Bahrain

It’s like the bachelor but with old people. I know it gets done as a special, but have you seen it? It’s insulting. Get in touch with me, I know the score.
Listen, I’m 91. But everything still works.
Advertisers think the spending all happens with the younger kids, the target demo is what, 20, 30 — and sure they’ll be customers for a longer time, lifetime value and all that, but listen, I’ve got more money than ever before, and I’m not alone.
My crowd, we have money and we spend it. Advertise to us.
Make shows we want to watch.
The Widower: The Bachelor for Old Folks.
By the way, I’ll be in the first episode.
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No More NannyWikimedia Commons

No More Nanny

-Mina, Pretty Much Does Nothing, New Cairo, Egypt

What happens when an uber-privileged socialite mother loses her nanny(ies) for 10 days to an everyday working mom? It’s “Wife Swap” meets “Real Housewives”.
Our entitled mother who’s grown comfortable delegating and forcing her demands on others, will now be forced to answer her childrens’ demands.
The working mother, best at taking care of everyone else, will have to learn to delegate, let go of the control and find herself again.
Each week a family therapist exchanges the moms’ rants for tools they can take back into the fray.
The closed-ended episodes will feature confessionals with the psychotherapist, moms, families, and nannies

Bonus Random Thing {has nothing to do with anything}

A good friend of mine from Cuba was sitting next to me during a panel talk and she was poking at my leg after one of the speakers said something about Extra Terrestrials.

She kept saying to me Telephone House. Telephone House.
I was like huh?
Telephone House.
She was trying to do an E.T. impression
Telephone House.
English being her second language, this was how she knew Phone Home.
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Wikimedia Commons

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Writer, Director, Producer of TV, Film and Stand-Up Comedy Tours in the MENA region and Asia. Writer's Guild, Director's Guild and Producer's Guild member. WARNING: Microdosing content will shift paradigm.

West Hollywood, CA
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