Ten Rocks You Need to Know
This is inspired by all the insipid lists blasted my direction from Buzzfeed. I am proud to mention I did these from the top of my head, which I would have included (still talking about my head) as Rock number 10 if I had run out of other rocks.
Read full storyCarpet or No Carpet in Your Bathroom?
A battle royale is brewing in a bathroom near me. And it’s not about the relationship between toilet paper and how it comes off the dispenser (away from the wall vs toward the wall — fire us up with your take in the comments. I’m in line with the way it is in the photo above, except I prefer not to dislocate my shoulder when reaching for it).
Read full story3 Millionaires in Abu Dhabi Credit This One Word for Their Success
3 Millionaires in Abu Dhabi Credit This One Word for Their Success. This is a true story. Please don’t tell anyone. I could get in trouble for writing it. The ending is where the real secret gets shared, but it won’t make sense out of context.
Read full story8 Writing Challenges That Suck
Maybe you need a writing challenge to get you out of a rut or to rewire your approach to things. Maybe you ran out of sharp things to poke in your eyes. Maybe you’re curious. Whatever your reason, writing challenges caught your attention at some point in time.
Read full storyTypo [of the Heart]
When my grandma was in Hospiceshe told the priest to come back later because he was interrupting Judge Judy. This story will change the way you see something you see every day. And if that doesn’t happen, the end of the article has two special bonuses that will change the way you see… ah… take three minutes and enjoy the ride. But seriously, don’t miss the end end. Sure to place a smile on your face or your money back!
Read full story[Satire] Tiramashoe: When Cobbler Meets Cobbler
My brother sells wine in Sonoma and when I recently visited him, he took me to Tiramashoe, a new bistro that he tells me is taking the world by storm. If you think you’ve seen it all, get ready to re-wire your brain and eyes. Tiramashoe is a new fancy eatery that only serves footwear desserts.
Read full storyLadder to Success Replaced by Parallel Bars
Here’s the secret. This is real. Not clickbait. This little trick will smooth out all that inner turmoil that catches us off guard at the strangest moments. Never starve a day in your life.
Read full story[Satire] A Suicidal Snail’s Success Story
If you’re reading this it means I’m no longer in this plane of existence. I’m wherever we go, snail heaven, snail purgatory, snail limbo. I meander in dusty streets without any purpose.
Read full storyTen of the Funniest Podcasts Today [Opinion]
There's nothing quite like a funny podcast when you can't make it out to one of the clubs, or if you live in an area that just doesn't have a funny bone strong enough to support there even being a comedy club.
Read full storyWoody Harrelson Strikes out with Robin Wright
How does someone go from playing Woody Boyd in Cheers (Woody was called Woody!) to Mickey Knox, his character in Oliver Stone’s Natural Born Killers?. This essay has nothing to do with that. (Or maybe it has everything to do with that… we shall see.)
Read full storyWriters Wear Capes and Spandex
Imagine you’re the star of a movie based on your life. And maybe it’s not a movie, but it’s real. Okay, basically, I’m asking you to imagine that you’re in your own life, which is like, duh.
Read full storyA New Alex Jones Conspiracy [Satire]
I don’t really write about current events, but I had to give a shout out to Alex Jones’s lawyer. Good job, buddy!. Whoops, I accidentally gave the opposing counsel your entire phone’s contents. Whoops, I didn’t say it was privileged. Whoops, your goose is cooked. And not in a tasty way.
Read full storyBoy Scout's Pinky Promise
We were stationed behind a folding table in front of a Pavilions Grocery Store, eight Boy Scouts and two fathers. The mission was to sell popcorn. Like the Girl Scouts and cookies, the Boy Scouts have the same annual fund-raising drill, only it’s popcorn.
Read full storyWriting Lessons from Hollywood A-Listers
WARNING: I name drop to an obnoxious level in this article. Advice inspired by Hollywood. This one is courtesy of mogul Barry Diller. We had our opening scene for a TV pilot called Under Contract (USA Network) set in a junkyard, the kind with dirt instead of pavement. Diller said that if there was dust in an opening scene (i.e., dirt being kicked up by cars, or walking), then nobody would watch. So, don’t write about things that manifest dust.
Read full storyWriters Find Fame and Fortune by Waking up This Way
Alarms are the worst way to wake up if you want wealth | Photo by AdobeUnsplash. I have a theory that how my day goes is directly related to how I wake up. I didn’t claim it was a brilliant, or ground-breaking theory.
Read full storyThe Art of Clapping First
Have you ever been at a comedy club, or any kind of live performance, a book signing maybe, where the audience was a little slow on the uptake and nobody was applauding when they should have been?
Read full storySalman Rushdie is an Inspiration
This is a story about coming close to Mr. Rushdie and sharing some of his well-honed advice for writers. I also share a private observation he made that has inspired me for decades.
Read full storyWatching Fabio Hit on My Friend at the Car Wash
How would the object of so many female-gazes game this out?. By the end of this essay, you too will be a master in the art of romance. But let me tell ya it’s better than diggin’ a ditch.
Read full storyNon-Alcoholic Drinking Games are Trending
A Zero-Proof gathering of friends not to be forgotten (unfortunately) Zero Alcohol content | Photo by Wine EnthusiastWikimedia Commons. When people say they don’t drink, the Dadster in me wants to say “You must be thirsty” or “Don’t get dehydrated” or “How the heck aren’t you dead?”
Read full storySomeone Hates Your Grandma - A BINGO STORY
Out there in the world, your grandma, who has lived a long life and has intersected with all kinds of people, has at one time or another accrued a hater. She may not have been your G-Ma at the time, but she is now and she has an enemy.
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