3 Resources That Healed My Relationship with Food

Auriane Alix
An Instagram page, a YouTube channel, and a podcast.
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Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash

I ate pastries for breakfast. A delicious, slightly warm pain au chocolat, and half of a brioche filled with custard and chocolate chips. Just a few months ago, this pure and simple moment of pleasure would have been ruined by a thought, which would have popped into my mind just as I was swallowing the last bite.

“My eating day is ruined.”

I would have spent the rest of my day trying to compensate, and thus frustrate myself, or on the contrary, let myself go since “it’s already too late.” Today, I simply went about my day and ate what my body was asking for, in the quantities I needed.

“I only have 350 calories left for dinner.”
“I should order a salad instead of a burger.”
“I shouldn’t have eaten that pizza.”

Does this sound familiar?

This has followed me for over eight years of my life, to varying degrees. It wasn’t until a few months ago that I finally fixed my relationship with food. No more frustration. No more guilt. No more feeling bad for enjoying one of life’s best pleasures.

Thanks to three resources. Three free and instantly accessible resources that I stumbled upon, and which produced the “click” in me that allowed me to recover.

1. Stephanie Buttermore’s “all-in” journey

She would restrict herself so much that she would eat 10,000 calories on her cheat days. Stephanie Buttermore is a Ph.D. who went from being a control-obsessed fitness model to eating whatever she wanted on a daily basis, giving up the silhouette she had sculpted for so long.

She was sick of being constantly tired, cold, and hungry. She would go to bed ravenous, restrict herself at every meal, count, feel guilty, and all those things that made her life miserable. She had the “perfect body” but she was not happy.

That’s when she decided that enough was enough and went “all in”. “All-in” means that a person gives themselves the right to eat absolutely anything they want, in any amount they want. In doing so, they learn to reconnect with their feelings of hunger and satiety and to erase restrictions and guilt.

It was hard. Very hard. At first, she felt like her stomach was bottomless. She ate and ate and ate without feeling full. She was finally facing all the frustration she created, all the hunger she dug. She gained weight, of course. But at some point, her hunger balanced out, she ate less because she reached satiety sooner, she craved fewer burgers, pizza, cake, and all those delicious foods, and she started losing weight again, without trying.

Today, her body is back in balance, and she has never felt better than she does now. Of course, her journey has not been all smooth sailing. Doubts have crept into her mind on several occasions. She will tell you better than I can. Below is the video that made it all click for me. I recommend that you check out her YouTube channel as she posts many inspiring videos.

One of Stephanie Buttermore’s YouTube videos about her “all-in” journey.

2. Bonnie Roney’s Instagram

Her motto is “Live free & eat without guilt.”

“Hi, I’m Bonnie Roney, your online Food Freedom Registered Dietitian. I inspire women to live a diet culture rebel lifestyle so they can feel free around food and eat without guilt or shame.”

Bonnie encourages food freedom, which means you can eat whatever you want and trust your body. And it works. You won’t eat yourself into obesity. Because, as I often say, your body knows better, and once you reach the point where you no longer create frustration that leads to binge eating, it will naturally direct you to what it needs, whether it’s an apple or a lava cake.

Through fun posts and cute infographics, she reminds me daily that food is neither “good” nor “bad”, and that if you crave something, just eat it. I am now convinced of this theory because I have tested it. Let me give you an example.

I was craving a bowl of cereals with milk. But I was thinking, “No, that’s full of sugar, you shouldn’t eat that.” I would create frustration, which would lead me to eat an apple instead, not feel satisfied and eat a piece of chocolate instead, and end up overeating at the next meal because I was frustrated. Only to end up having that bowl of cereal later.

Instead, if I satisfy my craving right away, pour myself some cereal and milk, then sit down and eat slowly and mindfully, I feel satisfied and get on with my day.

Here is her Instagram.

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Screenshot by Author from Bonnie Roney’s Instagram page.

3. Behind The Binge podcast

Marissa Kai Miluk, MS, RDN, LD, used to count, restrict, binge, and feel terribly guilty. Her history with binge-eating began when she was a student living in Los Angeles at the age of 16. She would literally starve herself and over-exercise to achieve her idea of the perfect body. She remembers this time in her life as awful and talks about it in the first episode of her Behind The Binge podcast.

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Behind The Binge, Marissa Kai Miluk’s podcast on Spotify, screenshot by Author.

She has recovered. And she wants everyone to feel the happiness and well-being that lies behind recovering from all of this. And I can only testify that, yes, life is much better when you live with food freedom.

Her podcast is laid back, funny, and easy to listen to while walking around or lying on the couch. It’s fairly new, so there aren’t many episodes yet, but all of them are worth it.

By the way, her Instagram is also worth a look.

Final Thoughts

I am no longer obsessed 24/7 with food. I don’t count anymore. I no longer feel guilty after eating certain foods. I’ve realized that it’s natural to crave pizza or candy bars from time to time and that eating them won’t lead me to obesity or health issues.

It’s how you eat on a daily basis that matters, and I’ve learned that intuitiveness, knowledge, and awareness are essential to living a healthy, balanced life.

When you learn what the effects of different foods are on your body, you naturally gravitate towards the options that provide the most nutrients for your body, while following your occasional cravings and eating that food you love so much.

It’s all about balance.

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