It’s the source of all of your best and worst memories.
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
A few months ago, I was listening to a random song while walking in the streets of Paris, coming back home after a nice evening out. I had put my music app on discover mode, willing to find something new.
A song began. I liked the beat and the overall melody. However, it didn’t really catch my interest. It was like background music for my thoughts.
Until a specific moment that literally focused my whole attention. Here is what it said:
And make no mistake
Relationships are the single most important thing to you and your life
It’s the source of all of your best memories
It’s the source of all of your worst memories
When you think back on your life
And you’re 95, a hundred years old
And you look back over the course of your lifetime
You’re not gonna think
I wish I owned a better phone
I wish I spent more time on the internet
I wish I spent more time at work or sleeping
It’s not gonna be any of those kinds of things
It’s gonna be I wish I spent more time with the people I love
This song is called GFY by Dennis Lloyd. It seems to tell the story of heartbreak. But what caught my interest was something else.
For the first time, someone had put into words something crucial in our lives: human connection. We always talk about work, money, success. But we don’t emphasize enough the fact that human relationships are the core of our lives.
After listening several times to this song, I started thinking about it and its meaning. I noticed that the moments I felt the happiest and the saddest were all linked to human connections. Whether it’s about your loved one, friends or family, even a random stranger in the street, human connections have the power to give meaning and power to everything.
Think about life this way: we are a huge handful of humans — yeah, a very huge one — randomly dropped on the Earth (when saying this, I funnily think about the little yellow guy that we drop in Google Maps when we want to switch to Street View). We created many occupations down here, such as work which is the main example, but what if the only meaning of life was to connect with each other? Give love to each other. Teach to and learn from each other. Share experiences. Share moments. Share this amazing thing that is life.
Many scientific studies have proved it: human beings need connection with other human beings. We need to feel appreciated, we need to feel a sense of belonging to a group.
A lack of love can even be deadly. At the beginning of the 20th century, particularly in the UK and the US, almost 100% of infants placed in orphanages, nurseries and foundling hospitals died. Among others, pediatrician Harry Bakwin and psychiatrist Harry Edelston found out that this death rate was due to a lack of care and human touch.
Later, research conducted by psychologist Ruth Feldman and Professor Tiffany Field has shown the positive effects produced by skin-to-skin touch for premature babies. Human touch resulted in improvements related to neurological development, mental development, besides observing a significant weight gain.
Many people are introverts. Some don’t feel at ease among other people and need some amounts of time alone to reload their social batteries. But what if we all gave it a whole new try? From a different perspective. What if we focused again on the beauty of life, related to human connections?
We all are very complex nodes. Each person you come across is an iceberg that has the same inner huge activity that you have. You only see them from the outside. That’s a lot of inner activity in the whole world. So what if we stopped judging too quickly, throwing people out of our lives for small incidents, and instead truly cared for each other? Looked after each other?
Text this long-time friend. Take your Grandma out for lunch. Go and visit your parents. Cook a romantic dinner for your partner. Only positive things, lovely and meaningful moments can come out of it. You have no idea how much.