San Antonio, TX

11 of San Antonio's strangest laws

Ash Jurberg
Photo by Rian Adi on Unsplash

The last week there has been a lot of talk about the new laws in Texas. But did you know that San Antonio has a range of very peculiar and oddly specific laws?

To ensure you don't inadvertently do anything illegal, here are 11 super weird San Antonio laws you may not be aware of.

1. It's illegal to climb a pecan tree.

2. At one stage in San Antonio, there must have been an issue with pecan trees as there are not one but two laws pertaining to them. It's also illegal to throw stones into the tree for the purpose of gathering pecans.

3. Always wanted a pet ostrich, panther, or miniature Vietnamese pot-bellied pigs? Well, you're out of luck as it's illegal for pet stores to sell any of them. Also, why these three animals were selected was not explained.

4. You can't urinate on the Alamo. This one is obvious but was brought into law when Ozzy Osbourne decided to relieve himself on this historic site infuriating San Antonio residents.

5. It is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands. Nothing about feet, though- so be creative in your flirting!

6 You better learn how to make a fire as a police officer can compel a citizen to assist them in making a fire. It's illegal to refuse.

7. It is illegal to sell your eye. And don't think of heading elsewhere in Texas to sell your eye- this one is a statewide law!

8. Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home. Thank God for Wikipedia!

9. You can be jailed for eating your neighbor's garbage. So make sure you ask before you dumpster dive.

10. You cannot shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel—no word on whether the third story is OK.

11. It's illegal for children to have unusual haircuts. Having seen some truly awful hairstyles (especially during COVID when people were cutting hair at home) I can safely say this one is never enforced.

12. You must give oral or written notice at least 24 hours in advance before robbing someone. I wonder if any criminal has ever done this? Oh, I better write a note, so I only break one law and not two.

13. Every vehicle must have windshield wipers. So even if you drive an open-air Jeep, you need windshield wipers even if there is no windshield. Makes sense? I didn't think so.

14. Put that feather duster away. It is against the law to use a feather duster to dust any Texas public building.

It really is a wonder how some of these activities required a law to be enacted. Were there so many people selling their eyes that lawmakers decided to act? Whatever the reason for these weird and wonderful laws, now you are aware of them. So there is no excuse to climb a pecan tree or shoot a buffalo from the 2nd floor of Hotel Emma!

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San Antonio, TX

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