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When we think of bitter personalities we often think of someone who is elderly and set in their ways. However, people in their 30's, 40's and even 20's have become bitter with their life's in today's society. Especially during this covid pandemic. The old is struggling with living out their last days in peace and happiness because they must stay home and protect their health. The middle age had finally reached the age to have accomplishments to improve their life. Unfortunately the pandemic packed on obstacles and has them struggling like they where in their 20's to keep a roof over their head and food in their mouth. The young is just extremely bored and confused with no way to express their frustration of being postponed so early in life. There is no wonder why most people in the world today have resorted to anger and bitterness in our current society. Bitterness is a very reasonable emotion that most of us will struggle with through different phases in our life. Bitterness is defined as anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly; or resentment. I'm sure we can all think of something that strikes up feelings of bitterness in us and our feelings are valid to feel as we sometimes do. However we must pull ourselves out of the muck of bitterness. The cost of being bitter is far to high. Prolonged stages of bitterness lead to anxiety, stress and depression. A recent study from Concordia University has found that constant bitterness can make you sick physically as well. Holding on to bitterness can affect your metabolism, the immune response, and even affect organ function that lead to physical diseases. Here are 4 ways to rise above bitterness and learn how to live a happy life.
1. change your outlook on life .
You may have experienced many hardships in your life that contributed to you feeling bitter about your life. You may have been a victim before but today you can chose to be the victor of your experiences. Overcoming adversity has contributed to your wisdom and has taught you how to take care of yourself. If you focus only on the bad and difficult experiences you have had you are destined to become bitter and unhappy. Shift your focus on your accomplishments and the positive qualities about your life. If you have loved someone who doesn't appreciate you direct your attention to the family and friends who love and support you. If you have struggled in your career and feel stifled in your life move your attention to how many people you have helped with your skills and how often you have helped yourself. Just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, happiness in the heart of those who see the sun and appreciates it's light. Just like life the light of the sun can burn and be harsh. However the sun provides energy and allows life to thrive on our beautiful planet. You will grow and thrive regardless of your experiences if you can learn to focus on what life provides instead of what it takes away.
2. Stop living in the past and talking about it.
Talking about your experiences can be very helpful in moving past trauma and recovering from anxiety and or depression. If you need to talk to heal yourself make the effort to get it all out. Talk to people you trust that will be a positive and supportive force, or seek professional advice and support from a mental health therapist. After you heal yourself and have said what you needed to say allow yourself to grow from those negative experiences. Let go of your past and try avoid talking about it. If you keep it alive it will continue to hurt you and drain you of your chance to be happy. Some of us become bitter because we can not allow ourselves to release the past. We keep bringing up how we were treated badly by toxic family and ex lovers. We don't realize that by keeping the past alive we allow people who have hurt and wronged us to continue to hurt and control our present and future. It may be difficult to forget but always remember that you have evolved from who you where in that time. Today you can chose to be the inspiration of your past .
3. figure out why you are bitter and change it.
It's unfortunate but some people are bitter and don't know why. Usually these kinds of people have suppressed their past and decided long ago that life is just not ever going to be good for them. The worst thing about being bitter is that it creates feeling of hopelessness. If you are feeling hopeless about the possibility of your life getting better you should invest in finding out why so that you can release the pain. If you are not comfortable talking about it or getting mental health treatment another option is to start a journal. The way to working out why you may be feeling bitter is to be honest with yourself and write down how you feel. Every time you feel hopeless and upset write out why in detail and you are sure to write some words that brings you to an epiphany for sure. When you have pined down why invest in ways to change your situation or your outlook. For many people figuring out what's really wrong is half the battle. You may even discover that the reason you were triggered turns out to be trivial and easily solved.
4. forgive yourself and others.
You are not perfect and neither is anyone else. If you have made errors in life do your best to make them right by approaching those you have hurt and apologize from a position of changed behavior. Some apologies will be welcomed and others may not be. When you have done all that you can do the only thing left to do is to let go. Allow yourself to move on as a better person who has learned from a difficult situation. Feeling guilty about things you have done in the past does not help anyone you may have hurt or fix the problem of how you feel about yourself. The only thing that fixes guilt is changed behavior rather someone you hurt allows you to show them you have changed or not. You must chose to change for yourself and use your experience as a building block that helped you become a better person.
If you are still angry and holding a grudge against those that have hurt you let that go as well. Being angry and resentful towards someone is pointless because the only person affected by it is you. The person that hurt you doesn't become uncomfortable to be around you, and is not affected by your ability to love again or allow someone who is worthy to love you. Forgiveness of others does not mean that you must allow those who have hurt you into your life again. Forgiveness is about knowing someone hurt you and understanding they are human. All of us are capable of doing bad things rather intentionally or unintentionally. No matter how bad it was in a difficult relationship there were still good times. We must learn to see the good but acceptable that the experience was difficult for us possibly to grow us or teach us a lesson that needed to be learned. There is no need for stress and discomfort to still exist between people who have embarked on a new life. Proceed into your future and wish them well so that you can hold on to hope that will lead you to the destination of someone who deserves you.