How to be kinder to yourself

Antoinette Lavoisier

(Photography by Getty images)

"Be kind to yourself, dear - to our innocent follies.
Forget any sounds or touch you knew that did not help you dance.
You will come to see that all evolves us."

Quoted by Rumi

Rumi is right. We all worry ourselves into the ground thinking too much about the mistakes we made in the past ; or questioning ourselves as to why our life didn't turn out the way we expected it to. We can be down right abusive to ourselves in the way we are overly critical of our abilities, physical appearance, and true strength.
We can't change what we didn't understand until we had experience. We can't control all of the factors that shap is into who we are either. Most of us are simply just to hard on themselves. Here are 5 ways to be kinder to yourself.

1. Become aware of your negative self talk.

Negative self talk is emotional abuse to the self.
It brings you down and makes you feel worthless. Listening to your negative thoughts will cause you not to believe in yourself or work towards any of your aspirations. If someone else did this very thing to us we would consider it an attack. We believe these bad thoughts about ourselves because we think we can trust ourselves to know better about us. Truthfully we can't always trust our own judgment. Expecially when our feelings are involved. Sometimes we are angry , hurt or tired and our feelings override our mind. Instead of confronting our mood and the reason why we are truly disappointed we turn on ourselves.
We have to become conscious of our negative self talk to stop this bad habit. When you get upset and you notice yourself being unreasonably critical stop whatever you are doing and take a break to clear your mind. Try writing down how you feel, or talk to someone like a friend or a behavior therapist to help you work through your negative thoughts about yourself. Negative intrusive thoughts can be a sign of anxiety or depression. Don't be afraid to ask for help and seek help if you feel that you are unable to stop your negative thoughts.

2. Stop obsessing over past pain.

Some of us play back past painful memories over and over again in our minds using it as a torture device. Our past experience can be so servere that we end up living with residual pain for the rest of our lives.
Many people that can not control this seek medication or therapy for p.t.s.d because they are unable to stop. Another way to confront the pain of our past is to use our pain to generate our personal power. This is done by realizing the negative experiences of our past is what has built our strengths and wisdom. Instead of using our past pain to torture ourselves we use our experience to motivate ourselves and inspire others. People like Oprah Winfrey, JK Rowling and many other's have used their negative experiences to push their careers forward and show other's what's still possible to accomplish from the bad things that have happened to them. For some it's because of the negative things they have endured that they become motivated to reach their dreams and do great things with their life. You must come to understand that if you had not lived as hard as you did then you would not have gained the strength to become who you are today. You must look at your past as what you over came and feel powerful because of it instead of seeing it as something that broke you beyond compare. Your story can be used to help others that are struggling with their life to understand that you made it through and help them to understand and believe that they can as well.

3. don't down play your accomplishments.

Another way to be kinder to yourself is to stop down playing your accomplishments and celebrate them and own them to allow yourself to feel good about you. Many people don't see or celebrate the goals that they acquired on their own. When they are complimented by other's that they have done a good job they shrink their successes by not even truly accepting a compliment or praise. They say things like , "I just did what I had to do" or it isn't really a big deal. In all actuality it your accomplishments are a big deal mostly to your own life and possibly the life you may obtain for yourself in the future. Allow yourself to bask in what you have made for yourself and accomplished for yourself. It's not cocky to feel good about you. It's simply personal self love and allowing yourself to pat yourself on the back for a job well done. If you do not see and celebrate the good in yourself life will feel like an endless struggle. You will not always aquire the validation of other's so you must validate yourself.

4. make your health more of a priority

As we all age our bodies will began to break down naturally. It progressively becomes harder to reach our daily goals. This is why we must be kinder to ourselves by making our health more of a priority than many of us do. Try to avoid exhausting your body and your mind by getting enough sleep, exercise , and fresh air to breath and take a break when you need it. A lot of us wear ourselves down by not taking care of our bodies properly. When our bodies and mind are overwhelmed we can fall victim to burn out. Burnout can lower your immune system and cause anxiety and depression. Learn to recognize when you have meet your limits and execute a plan to take better care of yourself.
You do not have to become a fitness guru or gym rat to obtain your health goals, so do not compare your personal goals with other's. All you need to do is recognize what your health weaknesses are and improve them. If you know that you are always tried then make a plan to start getting more sleep. If you know that when you over work yourself you become more agitated and stressed avoid over working or find ways to help you relax to relieve your stress.

5. learn to live in the moment.

Do not live in your past or have anxiety about your future. The best way to be kinder to yourself is to allow yourself to experience all of your current moments. When we live in the moment we take in more of what's positive about our life and allow ourselves to experience joy. The world begans to feel like a play ground like when we were children rather than an obstacles course . Researchers have found that people who live in the now are happier, more optimistic, less depressed, and more satisfied with life overall. When you find yourself worrying about the past and anxious about the future stop and just close your eyes and listen to your breath until you feel more calm. Then open your eyes when you feel more centered. Look around at where you are and see yourself there. Take in the smells in the air and the comfort of your own skin and proceed into the world in the present moment.

It may not always be easy for us to be kinder to ourselves so we must find ways to make it priority because we deserve it. You are important and you deserve to be happier and healthier. Be kind to yourself because the world is hard enough on us all. When we are kinder to ourselves life doesn't seem as difficult and we can free up time to just be happy where we are in life.

Comments / 0

Published by

My mission is to provide proper mental and emotional help for those who need support to over come difficult life challenges. Many people need help with healing past trauma and increasing self esteem to overcome body image and self worth issues. I intend to provide information to help people better love themselves and achieve their dreams. I have been a successful body positive inspirational content creator since 2014. I will provide helpful information for other social media content creators that will help them grow and thrive in social media as well.


More from Antoinette Lavoisier

How to avoid becoming bitter from life's difficulties

(Photography by Getty images) When we think of bitter personalities we often think of someone who is elderly and set in their ways. However, people in their 30's, 40's and even 20's have become bitter with their life's in today's society. Especially during this covid pandemic. The old is struggling with living out their last days in peace and happiness because they must stay home and protect their health. The middle age had finally reached the age to have accomplishments to improve their life. Unfortunately the pandemic packed on obstacles and has them struggling like they where in their 20's to keep a roof over their head and food in their mouth. The young is just extremely bored and confused with no way to express their frustration of being postponed so early in life. There is no wonder why most people in the world today have resorted to anger and bitterness in our current society. Bitterness is a very reasonable emotion that most of us will struggle with through different phases in our life. Bitterness is defined as anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly; or resentment. I'm sure we can all think of something that strikes up feelings of bitterness in us and our feelings are valid to feel as we sometimes do. However we must pull ourselves out of the muck of bitterness. The cost of being bitter is far to high. Prolonged stages of bitterness lead to anxiety, stress and depression. A recent study from Concordia University has found that constant bitterness can make you sick physically as well. Holding on to bitterness can affect your metabolism, the immune response, and even affect organ function that lead to physical diseases. Here are 4 ways to rise above bitterness and learn how to live a happy life.

Read full story

Comments / 0