How to avoid unnecessary toxic communication

Antoinette Lavoisier

( Photography by Getty images)

Life is challenging all on its own, but what makes it worst is negative drama with other people. Unessary drama is any kind of negative activity outside of ourselves that we allow to flood our personal peace and positive energy. Negative drama can come from our work place, our family and sometimes even strangers we engage with. It's important not to fall victim to unnecessary drama, debates, and gossip because it can create stress for our personal life and compromise our happiness by making matters worse. Here are 5 ways to avoid unnecessary toxic communication.

1. focus on yourself

The best way to avoid unnecessary toxic communication and stress is to focus on your personal goals. When we are working on ourselves we will seldom have time or make time for unnecessary drama like gossip or fighting with others that we are not directly involved in. We all have goals and aspirations that we are currently trying to meet in our life's. When we maintain focus on our goals we meet our goals more effectively. Many of us waste time that we greatly need for our personal benefits by getting tied up in other people's problems that we can do nothing about to help them improve. Instead of getting distracted by outside sources we should pay better attention to how to prioritize ourselves. We must plan to be clear about our goals by mapping them out so that we are ahead of the game on pursuing them. For example many people make vision boards. A vision board is a collage of images and words representing a person's wishes or goals, intended to serve as inspiration or motivation. A vision board helps people plot their direction and from there they can map out the details into a smaller series of goals. This process will prevent you from feeling overwhelmed in pursuit of your goals. The key to reaching your goals is one small step in front of the other with intention towards a long-term plan. If we avoid unnecessary drama and stress there will be less road blocks and lose of motivation to improve our live.

2. be a listening ear and a positive influence without getting too emotional invested

Don't misunderstand that focusing on ourselves mean we don't help other people. It's important to help other people and even more important is that we help other people in an effective way. When someone comes to vent to you about a personal problem, or someone is trying to trigger you with negative communication it's vital that we remain calm and intentionally positive to their situation. Getting on the phone to gossip about it or creating more negative thoughts and ideas for them and yourself does not help the situation. Try to always remember that you are a neutral party even when someone is trying to make a problem for you. Someone else's problems or personal point of view is not your problem unless you actively claim it. It is possible to listen to someone and be positively encouraging without getting emotionally invested enough to allow it to cloud your mind and induce stress. Be a listening ear to those that need you and give them positive feedback, but be very careful about what you say . Support for them does not have to be criticism of someone else. No matter what someone communicates to you it's only one side of the situation. Even if it's your closest friend or family and you 100 % support their point of view. Always leave room for the possibility of what you don't know and didn't personal experience yourself before jumping to conclusions about someone else's character. People that are seeking support mostly want you to just hear them out. If they want feedback refocus the conversation to support them to lift their spirits or see the positives about the situation. If you notice that the conversation is is progressively getting negative cut it short.

3. chose your arguments wisely

When someone approaches you with toxic communication about yourself or others you need to make an important decision and choose rather you should truly engage wisely. Ask yourself these questions.
1. Do you think this argument or discussion will change anything about the circumstances?
2. Do you actually have the energy to engage in this conversation?
3. How important is it that you engage in this argument?

If the argument won't change anything don't make time for it, if you don't have the energy don't waste energy, and if it truly is not important to you then don't engage. There is no reason to keep going over or visiting negative communication if it isn't going to go anywhere. Some people like to have toxic communication just to vent, get revenge or try to prove a point. It's simply a waste of both parties time that can be better used elsewhere. If you are going to engage in toxic communication with someone it should be only to prevent it or to improve a relationship that is valuable to you. There is really no need to bicker endlessly with anyone you don't seek to have a relationship or communication with. Even if you feel obligated. Obligation is an illusion. No one has to do what's expected of them and it's as simple as just saying no to unnecessary drama.

4. Stop taking things personal when people are rude to you

Even when someone is directing negative communication towards you it's up to you to react to make it yours. Usually when someone has a problem with you if they value you and the relationship they will approach you with decency. Unfortunately that is not the way things always work. Sometimes people will approach you with harsh critism to intentionally offend you hoping that they can impact you negatively. The best things to do in situations like this is nothing. Don't give them the satisfaction of upsetting you and possibly making you act out of character. The reason why it is best to do nothing is doing nothing leaves all that negative and toxic energy inside them. When you don't react the person trying to get a reaction gets more upset because they where unable to pass along their animosity to you. Always remember that it takes two people to fight. You do not have to r.s.v.p to every fight you are invited to. Don't take it personal when people are directing negative communication towards you because it's very likely that it is not even about you. Lot's of people look for someone to blame when their life is not going the way they planned, or they may just be having a bad day and is looking for someone to take it out on. Rude people are usually sad people that would rather express themselves with anger rather than admitting they are truly sad.

5. Avoid toxic communication yourself

One of the easiest ways to avoid communication that is toxic yourself is to avoid a lot of communication with others when you are personally upset. If you are sad and angry you need to be around people who love and care for you that are supportive to your needs. Talk about how you feel with people you love. If there is no one available to talk to seek counseling or professional help so that you do not become depressed. It's also the best time to properly nurture yourself. If you are having a bad day do things to improve your mood. Take a hot bath , eat a comforting meal and watch something to make you laugh. It's perfectly natural to be upset sometimes. You must avoid allowing those emotions to control you to the point that they make you behave sour to others because you are bitter.
Another way for you to avoid communicating toxically to others is to stop volunteering unnecessary information. Some of us talk so much that we say things we should not say before even realizing we have said too much. If someone tells you something and you where not instructed to communicate the information to others try to be minimal with the information you provide to others. A lot of times people find themselves in rifts with friends and family because the information they provided was misunderstood or taken out of context by someone they delivered it to. You will never have to worry about people being upset with you if you keep information about them to yourself. Even if they don't tell you it's a secret or to keep it between you and them. Understand that the conversation someone may have with you they may not be comfortable having with other's.

It will be difficult to avoid all negative communication because it's just a part of life. What's most important is that we are conscious about the way we communicate with other's at all time, as well as choosing to react or not react with others to keep a positive attitude. It's important for the devopment of our relationships and for ourselves.

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My mission is to provide proper mental and emotional help for those who need support to over come difficult life challenges. Many people need help with healing past trauma and increasing self esteem to overcome body image and self worth issues. I intend to provide information to help people better love themselves and achieve their dreams. I have been a successful body positive inspirational content creator since 2014. I will provide helpful information for other social media content creators that will help them grow and thrive in social media as well.


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