5 Signs your partner is not ready for a committed relationship

Antoinette Lavoisier


(Photography by Getty images)

Sometimes we meet a special person we are attracted to and we become so excited and invested in them. We don't even know them yet, but some of us began to imagine a future rapidly. It's nothing wrong with knowing what you want and how you want it, but if you want to keep your heart from getting broken you may need to pump the breaks immediately. Before you get too wound up and carried away in infatuation fantasies you must first properly observe if there is truly potential for a relationship. Here are 5 signs that your partner may not be ready to commit to a real relationship with you .

1. They already told you they didn't want a relationship but you weren't listening .

If your partner has expressed that they are just out here in the world trying to see what happens, that's code for I'm not looking for anything. If they tell you that they are bad at relationships that's indirectly trying to deter you from wanting a relationship with them. In most cases people that do not want a relationship will tell you early on but we miss the cues because we don't want to see it. It's very common for some people to miss these hints because they want them so badly they only hear what they want to hear, and because the answers sound so vague. In fact they are vague with intention to keep you from moving on away from them while they simply experiment with you for their enjoyment. If your partner says something vague to you after you ask a direct question it's safe to assume that whatever you asked means no. An open ended answer that could go either way is a distraction not a real answer. Instead of the romantization of what you think or hope they might mean with their vague answers and comments , consider all the things it doesn't mean. Looking for something isn't finding you and knowing your special. Being bad at relationships in the past doesn't mean they see good potential with you. If you really want to know the truth don't beat around the bush and ask them directly if they see the potential of having a relationship with you. Don't forget what vague answers really mean.

2. They don't want to label the relationship.

I once asked a guy if our relationship was going to take off and he told me that right now where just driving the plane. Imagine if you will if big planes just drove around stopping at red lights and merging into traffic on freeways instead of taking off into the sky. There would be cars plied up in wrecks and explosions with lots of people dead or dying. That was pretty much the state of how that no relationship was . I knew better that I should have taken his response as a red flag, but I stayed in it because we had a 5 year friendship prior to our plane crash.
If your partner won't clarify the relationship it's because you don't have one and your probably not going to have one with them either. If someone wants you they will claim you and want to label the relationship. It's very common for people especially in today's culture to not label their relationships. That's okay as long as both people are fine with going no where until you get bored with each other. If you want more than that be clear with your intentions and be sure that the partner you are interested in is clear with theirs.

3. They have a wondering eye and flirty mouth .

If your partner is still on dating sites, dancing close with other people in clubs and flirting with everyone in sight this is clearly not a person ready for a relationship. Sometimes people especially women will proceed with someone like that thinking that they can change them into wanting a relationship. No one changes anything with anyone without personally wanting it for themselves. You cannot push or manipulate someone to commit to you and if you somehow manage to do so you will not be able to trust the results. People that are not ready to commit will tell you what you want to hear and then go behind your back and do what they want anyway. Trust that the behavior you see is the behavior you are going to get if you try to force a relationship with someone who is clearly not ready for one.

4. You don't actually know how they feel about you.

If you have been actively dating someone for at least 3 months and you feel unsure of their feelings about you this is a red flag. By now you should know if they care about you, if they value you, and if they want to be with you. Unfortunately many people are with someone they are completely invested and growing love for with no clue as to if they mean anything to that person. If this is your situation I advise you to move on. It's likely that you may have become captivated with someone who intentionally withholds their emotional attention from you. Some people withhold emotional attention because they do not truly value you or they are just dragging you to chase them for their personal entertainment. In order to have a relationship with someone the feelings have to be mutually expressed. Do not waste your time waiting on someone to show you that you are special to them. When there is potential for a relationship you will not have to wonder if they want you or not or how they feel because they will show you and tell you.

5. They don't want to meet your family or your friends and you never meet anyone important to their life.

If you are swooning over someone and they avoid meeting people that are important to you, and don't want you to meet people that are important to them it's probably because they are not ready for a relationship. Many people only allow their families and friends to be meet who they date if they consider the relationship serious. They will avoid meeting people who are important to you for the same reason. It's a good rule to have because it shows respect for their family to not constantly introduce new people who they themselves are not invested in. If you are afraid to ask your partner where your relationship is going asking them to join you for your best friends party or a cook out with your family will reveal a lot of information about how they may be feeling about you. Some who wants a series relationship will want you to meet their family to have their family observe you, and to see how well you could possibly fit in their family. They will want to meet your family and friends to find out more about you and what kind of people you come from.

When you chose a partner to commit yourself to be as villigiant as possible. No matter how much you like them take your time to get to know them to find out if you have the same goals and desires before you get to invested. If you are seeking a mate for a serious relationship there should be no doubts that they feel the same way you feel and have intentions to move in the same direction you want to move.

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