toxic behaviors seen early in relationships that you need to be concerned about

Antoinette Lavoisier

(Photography by Getty images)

In the beginning of most relationships both parties are completely smitten with each other and excited to learn about each other. Once the newness of the relationship starts to wears off couples start experiencing difficulties and begin having disagreements. Some disagreements will just be awkward or annoying but easy to compromise on. Unfortunately some other problems that can be seen early in the relationship may be big red flags fore telling the demise of the relationship. When the relationship is very new and the partners are already attached one or both parties may ignore these toxic behaviors they notice in hope that it will change. Here are 5 toxic relationship problems seen early in the relationship that you need not ignore.

1. your partner becomes abusive mentally or physically in arguments.

Early in a relationship abusive partner's will try to keep their abusive behaviors under wraps but it will slip out in little ways because it's hard to control when they become upset. The first way that it will slip out is with name calling. It may start with light name calling that is against your intelligence like calling you an idiot or stupid. Many people look over light put downs because for many people it's just playful banter that's just part of their lingo. You will know that it's not playful banter by the tone and energy of frustration that it's thrown at you. If you feel hurt and down on yourself after it happens no matter how you try to rationalize it you have been emotionally abused. If you look over this red flag it is likely to grow in the future. Small insults early in the relationship can become derogatory and offensive terms in the future that may begin to come with physical abuse. Early in the relationship physical abuse will be more subtle as well. An abusive partner may push you out of the way or shove you into walls to avoid attacking you but with enough force to hurt you anyway. You will know you have been abused by the anger and force they put into hurting you. If you ignore your instincts when you have been abused by your partner early in the relationship it will progressively get worst. Women who have convinced themselves that their partner hurt them by accident early in the relationship later end up experiencing direct abuse in the relationship in the future. This is true for men abused in relationships as well. Once an abuser knows that you will rationalize their behavior or blame yourself the severity of the abuse escalates to being punched, kicked, choked and can possibly lead to hospitalization or death. It is not worth ignoring your intuition towards someone who may be potentially dangerous.

2. your partner is shows signs of controlling behavior

During the beginning stages of a relationship controlling behavior may be ignored and mistaken for being protective. You may assume your partner is just concerned about your safety and just want to know where you are. Eventually you begin to notice that your partner wants to check up on you every couple of hours, wants you to prove where you are, and who you are with. This is a red flag that if you don't walk away from now you will need permission to walk away from later. Controlling partner's in the beginning become a whole lot worst in the future. They will control your relationships with other people like your friends or your family. They may want to control all of the finances, how you dress, if you can be employed or not or just generally how they expect you to behave. Being in a controlling relationship makes the partner who is being controlled feel helpless and can lead to depression. If you see signs that you partner wants to control you early in the relationship take their behavior seriously. If you know that you will not be happy in that kind of relationship get out before you lose control over you life.

3. your partner is disrespectful to your relationship in the way they behave with other's.

If your relationship is monogamous seeing your partner flirt with other people is sign that your partner is not committed to being exclusively dedicated to you. Flirting outside a committed relationship may be over looked in the beginning stages because commitment understandings may have not been established yet. For some couples flirting with other's is permitted and for other's it's not. However no matter what sort of rules or boundaries you develop in your relationship respect is always the most important. If you have a partner who makes you feel uncomfortable with the way they flirt and make themselves available to others in the beginning of the relationship you can almost be sure that they will not remain faithful to you. Many people that have been in relationships with serial cheaters all report that their were signs in the beginning. A partner that does not intend to be exclusive may have other's calling them, they may be signed up for dating sites, and they may still be engaged with previous relationships. If you are interested in having a committed relationship staying in a relationship with someone who is none committal will only end in heart break. Save your heart and your time by taking the signs seriously if you see them. Do not wait around just because you really like someone thinking that you can change them.

4. your partner has serious secrets hidden from you

When we first meet someone we don't know everything about them, but if we commit to having a relationship with someone it's important to get all the important information out. Unfortunately sometimes people hide things like children, diseases and crimes of their past that may be deal breakers for their partner. If you are in a relationship and have to discover a huge secret about your partner there may be even more secrets withheld from you. People that avoid telling you important details about who they are in the beginning will be sure to have many surprises in the future. Do not set yourself up thinking that you can trust someone in the future when you can't trust them in the present to be who they say they are. Some people look over secrets they discover because the partner will claim shame or fear of their past as to the reason they kept a secret. Despite their fear you deserve to know what kind of person you are with. Relationship are built on trust. If you start a relationship with lies you will continue to run into lie after lie down the road in the relationship.

5. your partner is an addict

If you notice that your partner's relationship with drugs, alcohol or gambling is unhealthy and toxic to their life you may want to get out now. Many people discover that their partner is an addict in the beginning of the relationship. They look over it because they think it will change in the future or that they can change it. Being in a relationship with an addict is very hard work and will put a strain on all people close to them. No matter how close you are or how much you love an addict only they possess the power to change their situation. If the person you are with doesn't see they have a problem to work on and change then their addiction just becomes your problem. It can be emotionally draining and depressing to deal with an addict who is out of control . Do not ignore the signs that tells you that your partner is locked in self destructive habits that may only cause chaos and stress if you proceed in having a relationship with them.

When you get into a relationship keep your values and wits about you to properly evaluate the proper potential partner for you. Always follow your instincts. Sometimes we are not sure why we feel what we feel all we know is that something is off. Usually those feelings are right. Do not ignore your instincts or allow other's to gaslight you into disbelieving yourself. Some bad situations or traumatic experiences may be avoided if we follow our instincts and pay attention to these behaviors .

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