How to build your confidence

Antoinette Lavoisier

( illustration by Getty images)

All of us dream of a better version of ourselves and mastering our ambition to give ourselves the life we truly want . It's unfortunate that most of us never reach our goals mostly because we lack the confidence to do so. So many of us have been inflicted by dark and traumatic experiences that have robbed us of our self esteem and self worth that we have been unable to build our confidence. On the bright side despite what we have gone through it is never too late work on our confidence and reach our aspirations. Here are 5 ways to increase your confidence to reach your goals.

1. Heal your past and let it go

Anyone you talk to has a story about how they have been put down and treated badly by others. We have all been used, abused, and abandoned by someone we expected to care for and about us. We have also all made mistakes in the past and done things we are not proud of. Instead of dragging around the abuse of what we have lived through, and guilt for the things we have done we have to take action and put it behind us. You are stronger because of what's happened to you and wiser because of your mistakes. Take an initiative to change your outlook about your past by forgiving yourself and moving on past those that were not able to care for you properly . The longer you focus on your past the more of your future is consumed by events you can't change that keep you in a space of self loathing and low self esteem. You must do as much as you possibly can to heal yourself to change the way you feel about yourself. Start by investing in counseling or mental health services to help you work through the things that make you think bad about yourself. If you are uncomfortable with speaking with a stranger you could speak with a positive friend or get assistance from your religious practice. Many people don't value their mental health enough to try and change it. They just assume that they can suppress their feelings by sucking it up. If you are still being hindered by events of your past that make you feel worthless they will continue to hunt you until you find away to resolve them. Before you can begin to fill yourself with good feelings and confidence you have got to get the bad ones out.

2. Stop thinking negatively about yourself

Once you get the bad feelings out of head you have got to stop thinking so negatively about yourself. Negative thinking is a habit that comes from self doubt. You doubt yourself because you aren't perfect and you haven't done everything right but that's the truth about everyone. It can be difficult to stop thinking negatively when you have become used to it and truthfully everyone does it. The difference between those that are crippled by it and those that work through it is taking the risk anyway. You must train your mind to observe your thoughts without taking it personally by believing it. Say to yourself, "I see you self doubt and fear and I raise you meeting the challenges head on anyway." You may fail and it might hurt but you still accomplished experience for the next try.
On days that feel especially heavy and are more difficult to work though your self doubt have some self compassion. Self compassion is being gentle and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or critizing ourselves. Take sometime to comfort and nurture yourself and then get right back out there and try again.

3. Focus on your personal strengths and what you like about you

We all are good at something. Instead of focusing on your short comings and insecurities put all your energy into your strengths and best assets. Usually the things we are the most passionate about are the things that bring us the most happiness, confidence and purpose. If you have a special talent sharpen and strengthen that talent to your hearts content. As you perfect your skills you will build more confidence in your abilities and begin to feel better about yourself. It's the same for your personal appearance. If you shift your attention to what you like about yourself and play up your assets, in time the things that make you feel insecure will become less noticeable to you. Once you become more relaxed and confident in yourself you may even began to notice that you accept your flaws and learn to love them. All of us have bad qualities or have things we do not like about our appearance, even those we perceive to be perfect. You do not have to be perfect to like or love yourself.

4. Hang out with people who inspire and motivate your greatness

In the fragile stages of trying to increase your self confidence you really need to avoid negative people . Stay away from people who make you question your self worth, people that put you down, and people who are harshly critical of other's. The old saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" is a lie. Bones heal much faster than a broken spirit. It's the cruel words that have been said to most of us that cultivates low self esteem and a lack of confidence in the first place. If you continue to hang out with people who make you feel worthless you will not have progress forward on improving your confidence. Negative people are down on themselves and they seek to bring everyone down with them. Surround yourself instead with people who love you and inspire you to love yourself. Seek out those who are positive and have a healthy outlook on life that help you think and feel more optimistic about your future.

5. Don't forget to celebrate your victories

Anytime you accomplish a goal take pride in yourself and celebrate reaching your goals. One of the reasons many people are unhappy is they waste alot of time doubting and being critical of themselves, and spend very little time celebrating their accomplishments. We must reprioritize and shift the energy to make our good times longer and more eventful and make our bad times shorter. A lot of us don't put more effort into celebrating ourselves more often because we do not believe we have done enough to deserve it. If you just work endlessly with no reward life begins to feel dull and monotonous. You are worthy of celebration and you are deserving of happiness. If you can't celebrate big then celebrate small with a small group of people who will be happy for you.

Confidence is one of those things that go up and down. Some days will be harder than others and you won't feel as confident and that's okay. Never stop trying to better yourself for the life you want. You are as capable as anyone else all you have to do is believe it.

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My mission is to provide proper mental and emotional help for those who need support to over come difficult life challenges. Many people need help with healing past trauma and increasing self esteem to overcome body image and self worth issues. I intend to provide information to help people better love themselves and achieve their dreams. I have been a successful body positive inspirational content creator since 2014. I will provide helpful information for other social media content creators that will help them grow and thrive in social media as well.


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