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We are all in pursuit of happiness. Generally we think of happiness as being 3 main components. We must have love, enough money to take care of ourselves and those we love, and good health. When you break it down dramatically this way it seems like an easy recipe but unfortunately for us all it's not.
Real love is extremely hard to come by even from your family. Expecting someone who doesn't even know you to love you seems like it's almost asking for too much.
Money is a necessity to live, but the pursuit of it can and will rob you of much of your life and that's not living.
Health allows us more endurance through out our life but human life is very fragile. We can work out and eat right every day of the week and die in a car wreck or from an insect bite.
We tend to get bits and pieces throw in there of all three components. It's never balanced enough for us to be truly be satisfied, but we must chose to be and try to be anyway. We have to grab those happy moments out of the air in between those components and keep them with us to lead happy lives. If we are not hungry, dying right this second or completely alone there is room and opportunities for happiness. So why are so many people who have a place to live and family who loves them unhappy? When happiness cannot be reached outside of yourself it usually suggests trouble within yourself. These are 6 reasons you may be hiding from yourself as to why you are unhappy.
1. You don't do what you want to do
One of the biggest reasons children can not wait to become adults is because they can do what they want with their life. I don't know what happens to this drive and excitement after becoming an adult because still so many people are repeatedly doing what they don't want to do. Majority of people hate their jobs, where they live, unsatisfied with their family life and settle in loveless relationships. At some point after struggling and failures in young adulthood many people resign to the belief that they cannot do what they want because they have not yet achieved what they want. They believe themselves to be obligated to just do whatever they can to survive instead of doing what they want to do to live. Life is going to be difficult rather you resign to do what you can or what you want or not. If you still have to fight really hard to have a life you don't actually like choosing to do what you want is the better option.
2. You aren't honest with yourself about what you want or who you are
It's 2021 and people are still in the closet about their sexuality, suppressing what they have passion for, and are confused about their wants because they are constantly comparing them with other people. Suppressing one self and being buried under the expectation of those around you makes it difficult for many people to be honest with themselves about what they truly want. Suppressing ones true self and desires leads to resentment against our own lives and crippling depression. Even if you do what is considered well to other people if it goes against what is authentically important and passionate to your true self there is no way you will be happy. Be honest with yourself about what you truly want and then brave enough to pursuit it regardless of how society or your social circle may react. Even under the weight of possibly not being accepted by other's deciding to live authentically to who you are is going to feel really good. Happiness comes from being comfortable with who you are. If you are too afraid to be yourself you will never be able to provide for yourself what you need to be happy.
3. You live for others and not yourself
I myself am even guilty of this one. I used to live in service to my family and friends because culturally I was raised to believe that I was obligated to do so. I avoided moving away from my extended family for a very long time because I thought I had to be there for them when they needed me. I also used to be obsessed with them accepting who I was romantically involved with and their approval of how I live my life all the way down to my personal spiritual beliefs. I have always valued love and family over all things because ironically despite my attachment to my extended family there was not a lot of love. I thought that by living my life to please them I would be happy because they approved of me and they would love me the way I expected a family should. Most of them never approved and the ones that did was mostly indifferent at best. All my efforts were wasted and I felt resentment towards them for not meeting my expectations. The truth is it was my own fault. It was me who had given my life to other's to decide what was best for me.
The only person that truly knows what's best for you is you because only you know what's going to make you happy and what you can live with.
4. you are in stagnant relationships
I think one of the reasons people struggle with the end of relationships is deep down many of us expect for every relationship we are part of to never end. This is unreasonable because even if we chose to spend our life with someone eventually either we will die or they will. The truth is many relationships die long before the death of either party because we are not meant to grow forward with everyone we are attached to. People try to stay friends with people from high-school they have outgrown and have nothing in common with anymore. They feel burdened and resentful against their friends and their relationships become toxic because they will not accept that they just aren't happy with those people anymore.
Some of us are in marriages that have been over for years and living on slogans like, "It's cheaper to keep her" as if they are going to live forever. It is not cheaper to keep anything you don't want to be apart of because time is worth more than money. Some people grow together to have life long bonds but honestly most people we will grow apart from. Remaining in relationships that have become stagnant will only lead to you becoming resentful towards those people and eventually all people. Creating emotional connections with others to feel love is part of the 3 components of being happy. You can't be happy if you already hate everyone because you don't know how to move pass dead relationships. There is still life out there and what we learn from relationships that die out will propel and strengthen new relationships we have in the future.
6. You think you are stuck
Life doesn't go as planned most of the time and many of us make mistakes or are just unfortunately dealt a bad hand and feel stuck there. The truth is we are never stuck. Usually when we think we are stuck the problem is we are just too afraid to make the changes that need to be made because it's hard. Like I mentioned before above it's going to be hard anyway so make your difficulties count for you instead of against you. There are tons of stories during this pandemic of people losing their jobs and completely revamping or changing their careers. Majority of them have said that they wished that they would have just quit and taken a chance instead of needing to be pushed by a pandemic to take control over their lives . It's because so much of life is wasted living unhappy believing yourself to be stuck. Gradually you will become so unhappy and depressed you will not want to be alive at all. You have to take risk to free yourself and change your life. Starting over is hard but being stuck is harder because there is no opportunity for change.
If you are unhappy and feel stuck in your life I advise you to get mental health treatment to help you find away to change your mind so that you can change your life.