To begin, I'll be blunt. The outcomes in your life right now are all your fault.
This sentence may offend many people but think about it. Why are you working a shitty job (if you have one)? Because you opted to apply for the job and stay there. Why are you obese or somewhat obese? Because you are continually choosing to overeat and avoid going to the gym. Why are you in debt? Because you have chosen to spend more than you have.
Again, I don't mean to offend you, but I'd like to take another look at things.
However, I recognize the consequences of some people's lives as a result of their circumstances. Some people suffer from eating disorders, while others struggle with poor self-esteem as a result of a traumatic event. Some people are too busy with their families to pursue their aspirations. That is true, however, these are only short-term results. I'm speaking of long-term outcomes. These are long-term results that you can affect. I believe that our lives are divided into five stages. Nothing that occurs in phases 2 and 3 is our fault. However, everything following phase 3 is our responsibility; we may choose to produce the outcomes we choose after phase 3. To elaborate, consider the following:
Phase 1: Your life without any constraints
Phase 2: Your life after the influence of nature
Phase 3: Your life after the effect of life
Phase 4: The steps you take to better your life.
Phase 5: Redesign your life
Phase 1 is the life we would live if we did not face any difficulties. This is (for the most part) the life we would choose for ourselves. An ideal life with no difficulties leads to a life of distinction. For some, this would be a life in which they were not so short, and for others, it would be a life in which they were not so tall.
Some people prefer to be slimmer, while others prefer to be a little fatter. This is life "as it should have been."
Phase 2 is your life after being influenced by nature. Nature will determine your genetics, and hence how tall, attractive, or intelligent you are, as well as your abilities, when you are born. There is nothing you can do about it. This is completely beyond your control. So, if our genes decide we'll be short, be it. Great if our genes decided we were strong at basketball! However, there is little you can do about this stage.
Phase 3 is your life after the effect of life. These are the uncontrollable forces of life. Sometimes you can't do anything about the difficulties. For example, suppose you were in a car accident. You did everything correctly, but someone else was intoxicated behind the wheel and slammed into your automobile. Or you were abused as a child, or worse, you were raped.
Furthermore, whatever you did while you were younger than 18 years old was not your fault. Because your brain was not fully matured, you couldn't tell what was wrong or correct. You also couldn't foresee what the ramifications of your choices would be because you were still in the learning period.
However, phase 3 does not have to be all negative. You could be born into an affluent household or have always been complimented as a child. These are some great aspects of your life that will assist you in receiving positive results. However, you have no control over this. The results of phase 3 are referred to as the short-term results. These are the outcomes over which you have no control.
However, phase 4 is the one that you have control over. When you are an adult, you have the option to take action to improve your life. This is the stage at which most people become stuck. They will believe that everything that occurred in phases 2 and 3 was their fault and that they are powerless to change it. This is not correct.
Phase 5 is the life that follows each phase. This is what I meant when I said that all of the outcomes are your responsibility. If you are still having a horrible life in phase 5 of your life, you must take appropriate steps to improve it (thus, going back to phase 4). So when individuals say things like "I'm too short" or "I had a rough childhood," they're just making excuses. They couldn't do much about it in phases 2 and 3, but once you reach phase 4, you can choose to better your life.