"I dropped his phone; he shouted at me in front of our family," wife on husband's reaction

Amy Christie

*This article is a work of nonfiction based on actual events recounted to me by a friend who witnessed them firsthand; used with permission

The way your spouse treats you when they're upset or annoyed says a lot about love, consideration, and respect. How should you react when they forget about your feelings as soon as you drop something to the floor or they want you to be faster or dress differently?

Is it ok for them to make you feel less when it's just the two of you or in front of a larger group of people, possibly family?

My friend Angela has been married to her husband Lucas for one year. They don't have kids yet and are not sure if they want to raise a family or just focus on their careers.

"We already have so many nephews and nieces from his brothers and mine that it feels like we could spend all our time babysitting even if we won't be parents at all. And I'm not sure I want to take a break from my job. Not now, maybe not at all. It's not an easy decision to make," Angela said.

Fortunately, Lucas felt the same way and didn't insist on having kids. He enjoys spending time with his wife, taking trips whenever they feel like it, and planning their life in a relaxed way.

"Having kids means so much added responsibility. We're on track with bills and everything, and we earn enough to do it, but do we really want all that stress? Being unable to sleep at night and having a schedule so packed with school activities that weekend trips get canceled for years?" Lucas said.

Their relationship moved very fast since they got to know each other. They met after graduating from college in Phoenix, Arizona, were friends for a few weeks, dated for two months, and then Lucas proposed. Once Angela said yes, they began planning the wedding and got all their siblings and their parents involved.

"It took a year, so we had to be patient. But we had a big wedding, and we included all the people we cared about. I went shopping with mom for the nicest dress, and our ceremony was so special, with doves and live singing. I wouldn't change it for anything. The memories we made then will stay with me for life," Angela said.

They didn't want to live together before getting married, so after the ceremony, they packed their things and moved into their new home.

"It wasn't about the money. We could afford to pay rent together and all that. But it didn't feel right. I wanted to be married if I moved in with someone," Angela said.

Once they started their life together, they had to learn about each other's habits and prevent any arguments about the times they got up, who cleaned and where, and who was making dinner, lunch, or breakfast.

"I didn't want him to expect me to be a housewife or to get used to watching TV while I made dinner or did the dishes. We shared everything, and he helped me every time, except when I could see he was tired," Angela said.

One thing they had issues with was her husband's phone. He kept replacing it every few months and getting expensive ones, so Angela was rarely allowed to hold it or even touch it.

"That was annoying at times, but I figured it was just a phone. I had my own, so I decided to ignore how he overreacted every time a cup was nearby, or my fingers came close to touching it while dusting," Angela shared.

Last weekend, Lucas and Angela went to celebrate his mom's birthday. They chose a thoughtful present and went there ready to have a good time. The party included extended family, and Angela's siblings and parents also came by. As her brother-in-law was bringing the cake and they were all thinking about enjoying a slice, Angela felt like this was a happy moment that shouldn't go missing in their memories.

So, without thinking twice, she took her husband's phone from the couch and wanted to take a photo of the whole family laughing and cheering for the approaching cake, with her mother-in-law sitting on an armchair in the middle of the living room.

Unfortunately, Lucas noticed what she was doing before she got the chance to take the photo. And he was so upset that he started shouting right then and there, not caring if it was his mom's birthday or if he could annoy everyone else. And he shouted so suddenly that Angela dropped his phone on the carpet.

"He kept repeating I shouldn't touch his phone. And he came at me and took it away like it was jewelry. It was strange to see him react like that. After that, he went on shouting about how much he paid for it, how hard he worked every day, and how I didn't appreciate anything he did. He didn't buy the phone for me, so that was beside the point. And nothing happened to the phone; he was worried over nothing," Angela said.

His mom told Lucas to calm down, and when he wouldn't, she repeated her request and firmly told him he could leave if he couldn't be quiet. Once he stopped shouting, she added he needed to apologize to his wife.

"He said he was sorry, but he didn't look convinced. It was more like doing it because his mom said so, not actually realizing he was being unfair and offensive to me," Angela said.

Her mom and dad were surprised by the way her husband had treated her and didn't feel like celebrating anymore.

"I dropped his phone; he shouted at me in front of our family. Does a phone matter more than me? How could he do such a thing and make me feel bad in front of everyone?" Angela said.

Lucas asked her to leave, and they drove home without a word. He didn't talk to her for the rest of the week and refused to help with cooking or any chores. After that time passed, he went back to his old self and tried to be nice again.

Angela isn't sure what's going on and if she can trust him again. And when she asked him, Lucas said he was sorry and that it wouldn't happen again as long as she avoided touching his phone.

What do you think about this situation? Was it ok for Lucas to react like that when his wife wanted to take a photo and shout at her in front of their family? Should she believe everything will be ok and just avoid being anywhere near her husband's phone, or is this an indication of disrespect and other issues in their relationship that need to be resolved?

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Amy Christie is a passionate writer and journalist, always striving to bring out the positive and create meaningful connections.

Dallas, TX

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