*This article is a work of nonfiction based on actual events recounted to me by a friend who witnessed them firsthand; used with permission
Welcoming your first baby is a unique time in every couple's life, but when trust is gone, and the amazing event turns into something else because the marriage wasn't that solid to begin with, what should happen to the mom?
Is being with someone else enough to end a marriage, and should your partner be told a baby isn't his, even though that could end their expectations and make them reconsider life together with their spouse?
My friend Delia has been married to her husband George for three years. They were dating in college, then lost touch for two years, and met again on a round of shopping at the mall.
"Ever since we met that second time, we decided to stay together. We went out for two months; then, we moved into our apartment. I felt things were going great. I wanted to be with him my whole life," Delia said.
They got along very well after getting their own place, too, with George sharing in house chores and cooking dinner every time she was too tired after working overtime.
"It was like he knew I just wanted something yummy to take the stress away. I always appreciated his cooking and how he listens to me when I tell him about my day," Delia added.
After living together for ten months, George proposed, and they decided to get married in a year.
"We spent that time preparing for the event and making sure all the details were right. His parents were very nice to me, particularly since they knew I had lost my mom only two years ago and had no one to support me from my family," Delia said.
Once they tied the knot, they started thinking about a family and whether having an apartment was ok for raising kids.
"We quickly realized it wouldn't be enough for them and that we needed trees and a backyard. We also wanted pets, so it was time to get a house," Delia said.
They worked extra hours for about a year until they could afford to move, but through it all, they focused on the family they wanted to raise and the wonderful memories they would soon make together.
After one year, they chose a four-bedroom home with a garden and moved in. They got two dogs and a cat and began thinking about becoming parents.
"I'd always wanted to be a mom and a housewife too. So, now that we had solved the housing issue, there was no need to wait on it," Delia said.
Unfortunately, time passed, and she didn't get pregnant. And the more they thought about it, the less hopeful they became they would have a baby.
"It got to a point where his mom came by every week and asked me about grandkids. I felt embarrassed, upset, and just belittled. I'm sure it wasn't my fault; it was about both of us," Delia said.
After a few talks with his mom, George started blaming her for not being a dad, and she left the house a few times and stayed with friends.
During that time, she met Elias, the landlord of one of her friends' apartments.
"He was nice to me, made tea, and loved a chat. We spent a few evenings talking, and he sort of reminded me I was still good-looking and that I deserved to be loved for myself, not constantly reproached for not getting pregnant," Delia said.
They got closer, and eventually; they ended up together. Delia didn't tell her husband anything. Instead, she just argued with him for half the week and spent the other half with Elias. Things went on this way for about three months until she found out she was pregnant.
And she was sure the baby couldn't be George's.
"I'm pregnant, and he doesn't know it's not his baby; should I leave? I've been considering this for a while anyway; maybe this is the turning point, and it's time to end my marriage. My friends also said they saw George having dinner with a coworker," she said.
While George does know his wife is pregnant, he hasn't learned about Elias yet. He's excited, and his mom has visited several times to congratulate them and bake cakes for Delia.
"It makes me feel strange; they're happy for something that's got nothing to do with them. But Elias isn't sure he wants to get married to me; maybe I should wait on it and see what the best decision is," Delia said.
What do you think about this situation? Is Delia being fair in not telling George about the baby's father? Should she risk ending her marriage even if Elias might not want to be with her permanently?
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