Husband on wife: "She doesn't want my daughter to go with us on our honeymoon; do I get an extra ticket?"

Amy Christie

*This article is a work of nonfiction based on actual events recounted to me by a friend who witnessed them firsthand; used with permission

Getting married to your partner and having a big wedding party is a wonderful memory for most brides, as they get to have all their relatives enjoy that moment that will stay in their hearts for years to come.

The honeymoon usually comes right after, but some couples may not be able to afford it right away. And when it gets postponed, you might find yourself sharing the trip with extra guests. Who should be allowed to come on the honeymoon, and is it strictly for the new couple to enjoy by themselves?

My friend Kate got married one year ago to her husband, Donovan. They dated one year before he proposed, and they organized the wedding just over a month after that. Both their families joined them for the special day, and their moms also helped with the cooking, particularly for cakes.

"It was wonderful to have some homemade cake at the wedding. I think it was better than just ordering lots of food. Of course, we didn't have too many guests; otherwise, our moms would have been baking for hours. We just invited close friends, our siblings, their families, and our parents. It was a small wedding, but we will remember every detail with so much love," Kate said.

They both worked, but they couldn't afford to go on a honeymoon after the wedding. Instead, they decided to wait on it because Donovan's daughter also needed school supplies and wanted some toys.

"It wasn't fair to avoid getting her things just because we wanted to go on a honeymoon. Besides, we didn't decide against going, just to wait for a while," Donovan said.

While she wasn't very pleased about it, Kate understood her stepdaughter also needed her supplies, so she agreed to wait for a few months before they went on a honeymoon.

"Anna, my stepdaughter, is a second grader, and I agree her supplies matter; I want her to have good results in school. We're not that close, but I want to be her friend while mom is still visiting us often to take her out on walks on day trips," Kate said.

They both kept working and saving so that their honeymoon would come as soon as possible. In the end, it took them about ten months to get to the point where they could choose their favorite destination for two weeks.

"It was hard work, but worth it in the end. Now we can go anywhere we want to," Kate said, excited to finally be able to think about packing and relaxing for a few days.

One difficulty she didn't foresee was about her stepdaughter, though. As it turns out, Donovan always assumed she would come with them when they had enough money to pay for the honeymoon.

"We can cover her ticket, but that's not the point. I want it to be just the two of us. A honeymoon is for a couple. There's no need for my stepdaughter to come at all," Kate said.

Donovan doesn't see it the same way, though. He feels like he wants his daughter to share in the happiest time of their lives. And, precisely because they can't afford vacations often, he'd like her to see the place where they go on their honeymoon, too.

"She doesn't want my daughter to go with us on our honeymoon; do I get an extra ticket? What if we can't go anywhere the next year? She needs a vacation, too," the dad said.

For now, the couple is having a hard time agreeing on where the little girl should be during their honeymoon. Her mom won't be able to have her for two weeks, and her grandparents only offered to look after her in the afternoons. Kate is still determined not to take her on their honeymoon, either.

How do you think this should be handled? Is Kate being fair in saying her stepdaughter can't come on their honeymoon? Should Donovan be able to take his daughter if he really wants to?

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Amy Christie is a passionate writer and journalist, always striving to bring out the positive and create meaningful connections.

Dallas, TX

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