Husband calls mom of 3 lazy because of nap schedule

Amy Christie

A mother of three shared what happened to her on the Mumsnet forum "Am I Being Unreasonable" and revealed that her husband repeatedly told her she's being lazy due to the way she schedules naps.

The woman has three kids and does night feedings, so she often naps during the day to make up for lost sleep.

What are the details?

The mom wrote in her post that she has three kids. She feeds the baby at 6 a.m. before she gets her other children ready to go to school and nursery. Her husband then drops them off while she stays home to look after the baby and clean the house.

"I do all the night feeds; then I'll do the last feed at 6 a.m. and get up. I feed our other kids and get them ready for school and nursery. My husband will drop them off, and I will stay at home with the baby and clean and tidy. Then around 10:00 a.m. I will get back into bed with the baby with a cuppa, try and nap or relax. My husband will drop the other two kids back from nursery at noon; then he goes back to his office," the mom explained in her post.

After she serves lunch to her daughter, she will take a second nap until 1:30 in the afternoon. Then, she wakes up, takes a shower, prepares to feed the baby, and will be downstairs until evening.

"I will do lunch for my daughter and me, and then we will get back into bed. We will then usually all fall asleep. Then about 1:30 p.m., I will get up, shower, and get the baby's next feed ready. Then I'll stay downstairs for the rest of the day and make dinner," she wrote.

According to John Hopkins Medicine, parents should try to sleep each time the baby sleeps because otherwise, they could get "severely sleep-deprived."

"Sleeping while the baby does can sometimes be challenging because of other kids in the same house or our internal body clocks, but it's a good idea to try and get some rest," sleep specialist Grace W. Pien from John Hopkins said.

The organization also encourages both parents to share nighttime "feedings, diaper changes and other baby duties."

The mother went on to reveal that her husband has often told her she's lazy because of the timing of her naps.

"My husband will pop in and see me napping and will accuse me of being lazy and will say,' why don't you get up, get dressed, and take the kids out instead of getting back into bed?'"

This schedule helps the woman avoid feeling exhausted during the day, and even though she can't take them out for activities on weekdays, they still do plenty on the weekends, according to Newsweek.

"It works for me; if I don't catch up on sleep, I feel dizzy all day. I don't do much with my kids during the week, but we're out every weekend without fail," the mom added.

Even though a few commenters thought leaving the house more frequently could do some good to get fresh air, most people thought it wasn't fair to call the mother lazy.

"You're sleeping when your baby sleeps, and if you're doing all the things you need to, that's not lazy. It's simply catching up on nighttime hours and protecting yourself from the effects of sleep deprivation," one user wrote.

"Not lazy. Baby doesn't care about going out, and her daughter has been to nursery and needs a nap," was another reaction on the thread.

"Of course, you are not being unreasonable. Get your husband to do a few nights and see how he manages the next day. It's unfair women/mothers are expected to do it all."

"If you're happy and your kids are happy, this is fine - you've found a routine that works for you. If you think you'd be happier going out and doing baby classes or going to the park, that's fine too," was another take on it.

"Get him to take leave for a week and take over the two weekends and the rocking days so he can see how sleep deprivation affects him," a commenter suggested.

"Everything is a balance, and this sounds great and works for you. I wish I had done more of this when I had my baby instead of thinking we had to be up and out doing things when we didn't."

"I think your dear husband needs to be kinder and more understanding as to how hard lack of sleep and caring for babies and children can be," a comment concluded on the issue of balancing parenting skills and activities while staying happy as a family.


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Amy Christie is a passionate writer and journalist, always striving to bring out the positive and create meaningful connections.

Dallas, TX

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